This morning I realised that it is very helpful to my fellow humans to list my grievances and post a selfie on the worldwide web. Online Whinge Day will surely change the world for the better, and as I am perfect, I’ve got a long list of complaints about human behaviour:
When suffering loved ones post, ‘remembering dear Fringle and her contribution to our lives, gone too soon,’ idiots ask of the dear departed’s family, ‘Oh, what happened to Fringle, I don’t know.’ Hello smartphone saviour, there’s a thing called Google, you can look it up. Also on Facebook there’s a wall where you can actually scroll down and look through past events, and spare the grieving person the effort of retelling the story because of your laziness. Sigh
When businesses have ‘heroes’ listed on their website, and what follows is a list of the person’s professional achievements. Client service in real estate is not heroic, saving lives is. Der.
The use of the word culture (the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively) to describe what is merely a money making scheme, is not an inspiring use of a person’s time.
Online parenting experts, who when looking at a photo of a messy teen’s bedroom or reading about a parenting fail on Farcebook, quickly type advice such as, Teach your teen to clean up, it’s good for them, or gems like, I think you should set a good example for your child. Really? I thought parents were supposed to let kids run riot and drink to excess. Thank you Captain Obvious