Naughty Forty

I love being in my 40s, there’s a wisdom and a new found I don’t give a fuck what you think of me  attitude to how I live my life, which wasn’t there in my 20s (and certainly not in my teens). I’m still young and fit enough to enjoy life even though wrinkles have started their long march across my face. But forty is also when you realise you’re not immortal and the friends you’ve had for 20 or even 30 years don’t last forever. That parents get sick and die, and being a grown up is really responsible. I’ve realised I’m now the same age that my parents were when I first made beautiful friendships that I thought would last forever. Some of those precious friends have vanished. And I thought I’d find other friends who shared their humour and energy and spirit, but those people are rare. And my darlings have gone forever. Sometimes I hear a piece of music and I think of lovelies I shared my life with. I think of my friend whose name is now on the AIDS quilt, he died so young. And I think of the times we spent lying in his bed reading to each other, sharing authors we thought were fantastic. And listening to music that we loved. And sending postcards to each other from far away places because the internet wasn’t invented. And I realise that when you’re 40 you really do understand that life can be a bloody bitch and that is why we must laugh and dance and joke and sing and be as mad as cut snakes and tell each other again and again that we love each other before it is too late. Because love can’t wait.


8 Comments on “Naughty Forty”

  1. Milou de Castellane says:

    I too love my forties. My ex used to say I couldn’t wait to be old. I can but am loving the sense of myself. I fought to find ‘Me’ during my 20s & even my 30s. I suspect caring for a loved one helped. & made me wiser & more aware of the truth, we ain’t here forever.

    So dance, sing, laugh & love as if this is the last day. Especially love….

  2. Hi Lou,
    Well done for getting to that space in your 40s. I was learned at a different pace, finally stepping into the ‘IDGAFWYTOM’ space in my 50s. But, hey, is that not the beauty of coming Alive: we each have our own path, our own teachers, our own releases to discover. And the beauty of the fact that every now and then coming along side kindred spirits to walk with for awhile.

    Great to see you in action at the show in Darlinghurst and see a glimpse of your rebirth.

  3. We have just lost a lifelong family friend which has been more confronting than I expected. And I’m all too aware that my parents friends are starting to pass away. I’ve been doing some deep thinking lately and this post is very timely for me. Bren x

  4. Milou de Castellane says:

    Remember those who have died are always with you. Take comfort in that. M

  5. Dorothy Oliphant says:

    Hey Lou, the 40s are amazing. Definitely a time for reflection and creativity. And (since you have children), a time to appreciate them XXXX


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