Don’t bring Lulu

My name is Lou Lou. My mum calls me Lulabelle and my brothers nicknamed me Bosom, or Bos when I was five because I had no boobs (go figure). They still call me that even though I am 39 and a half and three quarters and I have three kids of my own. That is my family’s sense of humour. This is another one of my theme songs. What is your theme song?

DON’T BRING LULU

(Lew Brown / Billy Rose / Ray Henderson)

Your presence is requested, wrote little Johnny White,

But with this invitation, there is a stipulation,

When you attend this party, you’ll be treated right, but

There’s a wild and wooly woman you boys can’t invite, now…

You can bring Pearl, she’s a darn nice girl, but don’t bring Lulu.

You can bring Rose with the turned up nose, but don’t bring Lulu.

Lulu always wants to do, what we boys don’t want her to,

When she struts her stuff around, London Bridge is falling down,

You can bring cake or Porterhouse steak, but don’t bring Lulu.

Lulu gets blue and she goes cuckoo like the clock on the shelf,

She’s the kind of smartie, who breaks up every party,

Hullabalooloo, don’t bring Lulu; I’ll bring her myself.

We all went to the party, real high-toned affair,

Then along came Lulu, wild as any Zulu,

She started into Charleston, and how the boys did stare, but

When she did the hula-hula, then she got the air, now…

You can bring Flo, her dad’s got dough, but don’t bring Lulu

You can bring Lil, she’s an awful pill, but don’t bring Lulu

Lulu has the reddest hair, auburn her and henna there.

How can we boys keep our heads?

Bulls go wild when they see red.

You can bring peas and crackers and cheese, but don’t bring Lulu

When she gets sore and slams the door, the plates fly off the shelf.

She can make a fella wild on sasparilla

Hullabaloo loo, don’t bring Lulu, she’ll come here herself.

You can bring ham and crackers and jam, but don’t bring Lulu

Lulu goes wild, and when she’s wild

She climbs upon the shelf.

She can make a pastor be a dancing master.

Hullabaloo loo, don’t bring Lulu

I’ll bring her myself.