The Trumping Show
Posted: February 10, 2019 Filed under: Politics, WRITING | Tags: American politics, bad TV, Donald J Trump, Ivanka Trump, Nancy Pelosi, nightmares, Politics, reality television, reality vs real life, scary TV, The Truman Show, White House, white trash Leave a commentI don’t watch much television, but the current top rating show coming out of Washington has me shaking my head in wonder at the scripting and production values. There is not enough animation, and Donald J Trump in the starring role of lead narcissist is too cartoon-like to be real. His skin is too orange and his suits too ill-fitting to be presidential. I’m starting to think that the US TV and movie-making industry has inflicted on us the most bizarre reality show the world has ever seen. We have been tricked into thinking that schlock TV favourite Donald Trump is actually the president of the United States. The wife who is only trotted out for photo opportunities role played by Melania adds drama, but her acting skills aren’t great. Through incredibly staged press briefings we have been lead to believe that the Orange Creep’s handbag designing daughter Ivanka is a foreign policy adviser and that this bizarre family actually sometimes live at the White House.
There are some great episodes of the show. The Singapore scenes with the actor playing a North Korean despot were brilliantly staged, despite the lack of plot resolution. And I do love Nancy Pelosi in the pivotal role of lead shit stirrer. Her cameo at this week’s State of The Onion address must be nominated for an Emmy award and a Nobel Prize.
In an era where white trash families and country bumpkins dominate our television screens, the Trump family are reality TV royalty. Candid Camera started this trend but it may be time to stop giving idiots so much air time. The Loud clan were the first reality TV family, let’s hope the Mar-a-Lago Trumps are the last. Honestly America, it is time to take out the trash. Bigly.
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Back to school joy
Posted: February 3, 2019 Filed under: Parenting, Single Motherhood | Tags: back to school, parenting teens, school days, school in China, school is like a prison, single mother advice, single mothers of school age children, single mum tips, summer holidays are over Leave a commentIn 2019 I am transforming into an alert single mother because my child will be alarmed. No more teen tantrums to endure! I’ve decided to send my wandering youngest child to school in China, where she can wear a lovely new uniform. Even thousands of miles away I can easily track her whereabouts. I need to find a translator so I can read her school reports.
Big mother will find you #beyondtheschoolgrounds
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Tell me Kondo, Kondo, Kondo
Posted: January 27, 2019 Filed under: Self improvement | Tags: Advice for single mothers, charity donations, decluttering, folding, kon Mari, Marie Kondo, Salvos, Shinto, single mother advice, single mother self help, single mother struggles, spark joy, Vinnies, vote them out 2 CommentsMarie Kondo san
Vinnies and Salvos may not agree but I’d like to say,
Doomo arigatoo gozaimasu
I hugged my teenager and she didn’t give me joy so I sent her to live with her father
I spent Christmas with my relatives and they didn’t bring me happiness so I moved away
I laboured through a summer party with pill popping friends who became obnoxious, so this year I won’t be answering their calls
My daggy trackie dacks don’t spark joy but the fact that they still fit me after three kids does so I’m keeping them
Folding up Dutton, Morrison and Abbott at the next election will help my thoughts become clear
Parking cops don’t speak to my heart, out they go
Throwing out “joyless” items originally struck me as a first world problem. But the end result may be that the world is made better
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Unspirational
Posted: January 13, 2019 Filed under: FEMINISM | Tags: Advice for single mothers, firies, life hacks, no goals, no resolutions, single mother helpline, uninspired Leave a commentA few things I’m hoping for in 2019:
Hardly any bottom of the budgie cage seeds on my veggies
No more friend requests from inspirational people selling pyramid schemes
A world class, leading expert free world
An absence of life hacks
A climate change deniers manned journey to Pluto
An apathy of new bucket list items
Motivational speaker free zones
A teaspoon of resolutions
Piglets running loose in public parks
A plethora of politicians who think before they speak
Truckloads of hot firies turning up at work
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Sweaty
Posted: January 6, 2019 Filed under: AUSTRALIA, TRAVEL | Tags: auspol, Aussie summer, Australian summer, cats, happy single mothering, Single mother cooking, Southern Hemisphere, Straya Leave a commentSummer in Straya – a few of my favourite things:
Flying cockroaches
Lasting New Years resolutions like eating more sugar and drinking more fruity wine
Teenagers asked to empty dishwasher kindly putting 3 forks away
Sweaty humid walk home from beach to end up stinkier than before ocean swim
Adults moaning about kids singing too loud while playing music at the park
Watermelon stains on white clothing
Photos of depressed northern hemisphere mates clad in grey overcoats
Burnt veggies on the barbie
Drunken laughter drifting from pub beer gardens
Politicians releasing details of dodgy deals on public holidays
Cat bringing dead lizards and mangled mice inside for shared family dinner
Oldies bitching about toddlers having public meltdowns. Who doesn’t love a good tantrum?
Mango dribbling down your chin
Appointments with melanoma specialists
Work experience radio hosts describing daily weather. “Hot then bucketing down. Tomorrow balmy, then a summery, tropical weekend scorcher.”
Warm drinks laced with flies
Happy sweaty Southern Hemisphere summer
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Happy Next Year
Posted: December 31, 2018 Filed under: Self improvement | Tags: Happy New Year, happy single mothering, I say a little prayer for you, NYE 2018, single mothers with attitude, single mum celebrations Leave a commentHappy New Year. Hope you have fun tonight. I want a smallish glass of good champagne. At one point in my life I would have drunk tequila made from wombat wee if the bar ran dry and now I’m a one glass screamer. Mummies getting smashed is so last year.
In 2019 we will have:
More hopes
More dreams
Fewer emails, more laughter
More kisses, less complaining
Zero idiot rich white male politicians, more wise women from diverse backgrounds
Less coconut milk, more chocolate
Fewer inspirational quotes, more doing
More policies, less political slogans
More teenage dirtbags, less sanitised posers
More sleep, less stress
More grunge, less photoshop
More fun, fewer rules
More rebellion
More open hearts
We can learn to love again
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2018 – The Year of the Plonker
Posted: December 23, 2018 Filed under: Self improvement, Uncategorized | Tags: 2018 year in revieew, auspol, Politics, single mother advice, single mother musings, single mother struggles, single mothering, to Pollard 2 Comments2018, the year that cannot end quickly enough for me. What a clusterfuck.
This truly was the year of the tools coming out from under their rocks.
Trump
Israel Folau spreading hate
Julie Asbestos Bishop behaving like the hypocrite of the century, acting like a martyr when she let Bernie Banton die in agony waiting for compensation
Barnaby Joyce
Lleyonhelm
Lindsay Lohan and her “women look weak” bollocks
Malcolm Gunning from the real estate agents group who thought that people should get a second job to buy a home
Steve Smith and David Warner
The Wallabies
Potato Dutton thinking he had a chance at the top job. The man has a head like a dropped pie
The guy who wanted to ask me out on a date but then mansplained the term ‘mansplaining’ to me
Too many women and children murdered by men they knew, including beautiful Olga and her kids
Scott Morrison’s embarrassing moments happening almost daily from October
Extreme weather conditions worsened across the globe and still moron politicians deny climate science
There have been 94 school shootings in the US this year
The year when the two most powerful comedy shows weren’t funny; Nanette by- Hannah Gadsby and Sascha Baron Cohen’s documentary on America
We lost beautiful artists this year, too many to suicide
Aretha Franklin, Neil Simon, Tom Wolfe, Mirka Mora, Dolores O’Riordan, Richard Gill, Stephen Hawking, Charles Blackman, Judy Blame,, Anthony Bourdain, Kofi Annan, Penny Marshall, Penny Cook, Liz Jackson
Eurydice Dixon was taken from us
Heroes
Robert Mueller
Emma Gonzalez and her classmates
Jameela Jamil
Tham Luang cave divers
Chrissie Foster
Christine Balsey Ford
Saxon Mullins
Sisto Malaspina
The year I learnt to say no more than yes
I was ghosted by a friend
This year a school bully told my child that she should kill her self, my two other kids suffered health problems and I went to hospital twice, but we are blessed to have our health system and we have held onto our sanity (just)
Shakespeare wrote about Donald Trump in All’s Well That Ends Well:
“A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.”
May 2019 bring wisdom and a strong wall to keep the idiots at bay
