‘Ucken see ya rona

As we prepare for a new world order after the first wave of corona, I’m reflecting on life in lockdown.

I will NOT miss

Updates from the CEOs of every company I’ve ever shopped with

Seeing Scummo’s smug face on my screens every five minutes

Pointless health and wellness videos

Over-medicated Zoom calls

Online conspiracy theories from whackos who I thought were sane people

Nauseating we’re-all-in-this-together messages from celebrities

Remote learning with teenage beast

I WILL MISS

Sleeping in

Cuddles with my cat every day

Reading multiple books

Afternoon naps

Carbs

Clean air

Day time TV

Day drinking

Bin isolation Facebook posts

Tracky dacks every day even though I wear pyjamas to work

Laughing with goth child over mad cat vids on TikTok

Bye rona, don’t come back…


2020 vision

The Pollard definitive guide to enjoying 2020:

Pat puppies and kiss kittens

Don’t vote for morons

Eat, drink and be merry

Don’t buy ‘beauty’ products

Stay off the internet

Help a refugee family

Read books

Unsubscribe

Stop buying plastic crap

Thank firies, ambos and nurses

Check your emotional baggage

Get fresh on the dance floor

Support the Uluru Statement

Be kind, even to dickheads

Don’t use the words onboarding, textural or disruptor

Buy the Big Issue

Sing every day

Bring home the facon (don’t harm piggies)

Love your friends

Swim in the ocean