I wrote this list of predictions for 2020 on the 31st of December, 2019:

The Pollard definitive guide to enjoying 2020:

Pat puppies and kiss kittens

Don’t vote for morons

Eat, drink and be merry

Don’t buy ‘beauty’ products

Stay off the internet

Help a refugee family

Read books


Stop buying plastic crap

Thank firies, ambos and nurses

Check your emotional baggage

Get fresh on the dance floor

Support the Uluru Statement

Be kind, even to dickheads

Don’t use the words onboarding, textural or disruptor

Buy the Big Issue

Sing every day

Bring home the facon (don’t harm piggies)

Love your friends

Swim in the ocean

These words are still accurate, but I’m adding:

Thank teachers, wear a mask, donate to your local food pantry, talk to a wise creature (preferably a furry one) stay home (if it’s safe), become a pirate and beware of deep, dark internet rabbit holes. Tell your people you love them. And please don’t use the words unprecedented, pivot or disrupt ever again.

Resolution Time

Apparently 31 December is a great time to make wishes for the coming year. I am taking this very seriously. I have decided as of 1 January 2013 I will give up Lindt Balls for breakfast and eat them only for dinner. Beetroot is also off my list because it tastes like dirt. And energy drinks, I tried my first one on Christmas Eve eve this year and I have resolved to never consume any beverage that tastes like cough medicine again. Hopefully I will think of a few more of these very serious resolutions for my healthy new life between now and the start of the Chinese New Year. 2013 is the Chinese Year of the Water Snake, so starting 10 February (or perhaps 1 January if the mood takes me) I will whisper sweet nothings, giggle more with my darling friends, play cricket on the beach, swim like a mermaid, yell less, behave like a model mother, practice my ukulele more, dance in the rain, tiptoe through the tulips (although I prefer gardenias), read more funny novels and write a cracking book. And shed some skin if I spend too much time at the seaside.