As a well-known hash taggerer, disruptor slash influenza influencer slash media guru and recent graduate of The Richard Wilkins’ School of Real Good Journalism ‘n’ That, I’m very, very busy coming up with Get Rich Quick Schemes and ways to help my many readers find more ways to connect and waste time on social media. I’m hoping to motivate my huge fanbase to break through brick walls and hashtag their way to world peace, pin so many photos on Pinterest that the war in Syria will end, and sign so many petitions that Malcolm Turnbull will finally grow a spine. Whatevs.
I’m so busy being fabulous that I’m hoping you won’t notice that I’ve written a short and gratuitous blog post this week. In the meantime, here is some of my unbelievably artistic rhyming poetry stuff:
Two little dicky birds sitting on a wall
One named Peter (Dutton) and one named Paul (Keating)
Rack off Peter, kick him off Paul
Drop dead Peter, come back Paul
Controversial political art that is
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Having faith in God and hope through his strength and grace and awesomeness allows u to achieve all your goals and live a life of abundance…. Service and happiness and peace
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Like · Reply · 23 October at 23:23
As the childrens head back to school after the long summer holidays I have turned into tyrant mother. I’ve installed software that cuts off the internet, which is a shame because it is really cutting into my time-wasting watching inane crap on social media therapy. I am not the first parent to use the cruel to be kind parenting method (patent pending), but in the digital age us parents need help to conquer the gazing at pointless clips on youtube disease that has spread amongst our kids. My youngest loves watching people playing Minecraft. WTF? I guess that’s no different to my secret joy at reading celebrity gossip and looking at pictures of Brad and Angelina and pretending I have that kind of fantasy family life. My 13-year-old is so sleep deprived from reading all the late night messages from her friends I had to stage an intervention. She told me not to cut off the internet so she could complete her homework but I figure if she hasn’t done it by 10 at night it’s too late. I’m hoping my little technological helper will enable me to have a more rested and harmonious household. My gal may even read one of the novels she is supposed to study this year and I may get some work done.