We’re doing a giveaway on instatwatrestfakebooklinked
Entering our competition is simple:
Like our page. Like our post. Like our Pinterest boards
Follow our unused Twitter feed
Like our Tumblr site that we haven’t updated since 2013
Like our Facebook page populated by nut jobs
Like our next-door neighbour’s cousin’s mother’s company, located in freak knows where that has no contact details on their website
Like my 615 friends’ pages that promote shonky science, hideous frocks and expensive shakes
Like photos of my awful children doing annoying crap
Please follow these pages:
I’ve had so much Botox I’m surprised even when I’m cranky
Women Who Sell Crap We Don’t Need
I’ll swallow handfuls of steroids and get fillers in my face, but won’t touch toxic vaccines
Follow three random pages of your choice
Spend $500 on our website for 2 entries
Vote for me on a nonsensical awards site started by a shell company with no ethics
Tell your friends to vote for me
Help me buy my next investment property
Spin three times, click your heels and yell, Dorothy we won’t get back to Kansas
And you could win a $5 voucher for an online shop selling stuff from the tip
This is a paid partnership with common sense
Why are we tuning into charlatans and not wise people in our culture?
Dear selfie kings and queens,
Here’s a revolutionary idea for you when posting to your millions of followers on Instagram: Your posts can be edited.
Call me old fashioned but if you profess to be an expert in your field, perhaps you could proudly display that you can grasp the basic idea of stringing a sentence together?
Maybe proclaiming that youre / your / ur a thought leader then displaying a smorgasbord of unedited grammar and spelling mistakes is not ideal for your brand. If you’re claiming to help people get millions of followers perhaps it would help if you were mildly literate.
It’s bad enough when Insta ‘celebratiez’ post photos of their ugly children, but recently, on her Insta feed, well-known personal trainer MB posted the words,
All be it
I think the word she was looking for was albeit. Really. I’m going to start a heartfelt crowdfunding campaign for the poor lady, she obviously can’t afford to pay someone to proofread her life-changing posts.
Pert ladies and buff gents, you know that tweets can’t be edited (looking at you idiot President number 45) but all your other brilliant revolutionary thoughts on other social media channels can. How about you learn to use the delete button and maybe send a text to a friend who can spell so they can read your genius ideas before you pay to boost your inspo post?
I really love that your /ur / youre a lifestyle guru and new media-savvy social influencer. Honestly I do. But if you want to be a disruptor (gag) then maybe read your ‘next ‘level’ post before you hit the share button…