Unspirational
Posted: January 13, 2019 Filed under: FEMINISM | Tags: Advice for single mothers, firies, life hacks, no goals, no resolutions, single mother helpline, uninspired Leave a commentA few things I’m hoping for in 2019:
Hardly any bottom of the budgie cage seeds on my veggies
No more friend requests from inspirational people selling pyramid schemes
A world class, leading expert free world
An absence of life hacks
A climate change deniers manned journey to Pluto
An apathy of new bucket list items
Motivational speaker free zones
A teaspoon of resolutions
Piglets running loose in public parks
A plethora of politicians who think before they speak
Truckloads of hot firies turning up at work
Sonia’s life hacks
Posted: July 24, 2016 Filed under: COMEDY | Tags: auspol, class, Eddie Maguire, inspiration, inspirational Australians, Inspirational quotes, inspo, joy, life hacks, Living Colour - Cult Of Personality, love, race, Sam Newman, single mother friends, single mother role models, Sonia Kruger, tools, tricks and tips, white privilege Leave a commentHi, I’m Sonia, and as well as being a famous ex-dancer, TV wonder girl, motivational guru and gifted Botox devotee, I like to inspire and uplift my fellow mainly white Australians with the love I feel for other fearful Christian human beings. Today I hope we can all:
Dance like Sam Newman is watching
Pop pills like we’re Eddie Maguire
Work like Tony Abbott’s publicist
Love like Michelle Bridges looking in the mirror
Genuflect like Roxy Jacenko
Sing like the Madden brothers mentoring themselves in the shower
Live like we’re in Queensland in 1952
Ponder the deep meaning of our existance like Donald Trump’s wife
Drink like we’re Ben Cousins
Smile like we’ve had dermal fillers
For now you beautiful pale Aussies, Keep Calm and Dance like Sonia

