Sonia’s life hacks

Hi, I’m Sonia, and as well as being a famous ex-dancer, TV wonder girl, motivational guru and gifted Botox devotee, I like to inspire and uplift my fellow mainly white Australians with the love I feel for other fearful Christian human beings. Today I hope we can all:

Dance like Sam Newman is watching

Pop pills like we’re Eddie Maguire

Work like Tony Abbott’s publicist

Love like Michelle Bridges looking in the mirror

Genuflect like Roxy Jacenko

Sing like the Madden brothers mentoring themselves in the shower

Live like we’re in Queensland in 1952

Ponder the deep meaning of our existance like Donald Trump’s wife

Drink like we’re Ben Cousins

Smile like we’ve had dermal fillers

For now you beautiful pale Aussies, Keep Calm and Dance like Sonia


I was in the Hot Seat

I won $20,000 for answering a few questions on Millionaire Hot Seat. Watching it again I notice I said, “Lock it in Eddie,” about a thousand times because I was so worried about running out of time and leaving the show with an empty wallet.

Television quiz shows are my not so secret guilty pleasure. My mum won a lot of prizes in the late 50s on an early TV quiz show, so it’s in my blood. I was on the TV show Sale of the Century back in 1997. Six months pregnant with my first child I started dreaming up get rich quick schemes. I won a place on Sale and flew to Melbourne on a 6am flight. Being heavily pregnant I spent my time in the make up chair and the TV studio yawning. The host’s glamorous sidekick was almost as pregnant as me and I could tell the producers weren’t happy with another fat woman on set.

Once the cameras rolled pregnancy brain took over, I couldn’t even answer a simple question about the Australian cricket team. The host with spray-on hair asked,

“What is the large vessel starting with K which beer is stored in?”

“Keg.” It was the one question I answered correctly so I got to pick a famous face and I won $5000 dollars on the prize board. Then I was booted off the show with a silver stickpin, later sold to a pawnshop for $5. The second most exciting thing to happen that year. Of course the birth of my first child was numero uno.

My Dad called when the Sale episode went to air.

“What were you thinking? Everyone knows about Chappell’s underarm bowling!” I wasn’t thinking, I’d inhaled too much hairspray on set.

“Thanks Dad, I’ll try harder next time.”

“I wanted some of the prizes, can’t believe you couldn’t win the steak knives. Will they have you back on for the jackpot?”he  said.

Ah, sadly no. After that my new vocation of raising three children on my own took off, so I thought my quiz show career was over. But late one night when the kids were in bed I went online and entered Hot Seat. So I auditioned, got through, flew to Melbourne, met Eddie Maguire, had fun and won some cash. Do it, and hopefully you’ll win big.

 

Hot Seat

Lock it in