Apparently today is Reptile Awareness Day. I didn’t know there was a day held especially to recognise ex mother in laws and some of the toads I’ve been out with. One of the best things about divorce is shedding the asps attached to exes, it’s very ssss-satisfying when you no longer have to spend your time with ssss-snakes. Some species of reptile need to be threatened with extinction. Where are my crocodile skin shoes?