Ten Single Mother Commandments

1.Thou shalt buy ear plugs

2. Thou shalt covet the imaginary happy marriage of our happy couple friends

3. Thou shalt freak out the women who think you want to steal their husbands (usually the husbands that aren’t worth stealing)

4. Thou shalt play dead when kids try to wake you up on the weekend

5. Thou shalt bargain with your children like you are a hostage negotiator

6. Thou shalt not take fashion advice from a 13 year old

7. Thou shalt undertake due diligence with the father of your next child before you breed with him

8. Thou shalt be slothful on your birthday, Mother’s Day and Christmas

9. Thou shalt have a cunning plan to deal with toddlers and teenagers – divert, distract, dodge

10. Thou shalt wear pyjamas at school drop off at least once per term