Astro turfed

It started with an enticing email message (complete with capital letters for emphasis) from Clairvoyant Kevin:
A time of WONDERFUL change is coming your way, we need to talk IMMEDIATELY.

To be SUCCESSFUL you must channel the POWER of the stars.

As a struggling single mother I need all the self-help I can get, so gullible me clicked on the link provided by Clairvoyant Kevin in his ‘exclusive’ email.

Kevin told me that Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Uncanny. How does this astrologer know me so well already?

Let your intuition tell you all you need to know. Harness the ENERGY of the stars.

Then
The Sextile of your ruling planet is SPECTACULAR.
Que?

So I paid for Kevin’s prediction, and the only thing that held any promise was my astrology forecast. According to Guru Kevin, the happiest period of my life had just begun. Two friends died, my car was sold to a wrecker and the bloke stopped calling me. Thanks Kev, I can’t wait to see what my bad stars bring.