A horse is a horse of course, unless you bet on that horse and lose lots of cash, then the horse is a nag headed for the pet food factory. Today I am dressed like a fool at a lunch celebrating the Festival of Trashy Drunks wearing not so fascinators AKA the Race That Stops A Nation. If you’re not Australian you probably call it the Melbourne Cup. It’s a long day and dealing with people who are smashed and have spray on tans sponsored by Vegemite (thank you Kraft) and know nothing about racing is exciting so I’ll just get up on my high horse…..

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