And they will be Instagrammed, photoshopped, Facebooked, Tweeted, Pinned, Googled, Tumblr’d and flogged on every available social media site. I hope the New Years Eve revolution (where we overthrow the politicians who run the current economic system of inequality) will be televised, but we’ll probably just be watching the same predictable TV show hosts bumbling their way through awkward live broadcasts of drunk people and fireworks.
Here is my riveting Lou Pollard official single mother New Year’s resolutions list (patent pending). In 2016 I promise I will:
1. Give up making lists that will never be acted upon
2. Feed the cat
3. Pat the backyard lizard
7. Laugh a lot
8. Prise myself away from pointless youtube searches
10. Feed the children
Single Mother Christmas Gingerbread House
Pre made kit from cheapo supermarket
Lemons to taste
Valium (quantity as required)
Tablespoon of family argument regarding decorations
Mix all ingredients on Christmas Eve and hope for the best
Single mother Santa wish list
Peace in my house
No Reindeer poo to clean up in my garden
Santa changes all the light bulbs, mops, dusts, vacuums and repairs the leaky washing machine before he leaves
And my kids and I sing my favourite Christmas song
2015 was a year of hard work, heartbreak and incredible joy. Some people I love and admire endured tragedy this year, we lost more friends to cancer and many of my friends lost parents.
In March, my Clown Doctor colleagues, Dr S. Duffer and Dr P. Brain and I had a lovely visit to Sydney Children’s Hospital with three members of the Australian cricket team, Brad Haddin, Nathan Lyons and the captain Steve Smith. Lovely blokes who spent hours with very sick kids, told corny jokes and when we took the mickey out of them they were great sports.
My mum went to live in a nursing home
I visited beautiful kids at the Royal Deaf and Blind School with Dr Noodles
In May I received a four-star review for my second solo show and sold out my last performance a the Enmore Theatre for the 2015 Sydney Comedy Festival Looking For Mike Brady
I didn’t find Mike Brady but I developed a crush that lasted all year
In September I wrote and performed my third solo show A Real State for the 2015 Sydney Fringe Comedy Festival
The worst federal government in Australian political history realised they had to ditch the idiot at the top and replace him with a sly fox
In October I played Dream Cricket in Bowral with very special children
In November I travelled to Queensland to giggle, train, sing, laugh and be inspired by my Clown Doctor colleagues from around Australia
In December, I kissed a few babies, met Fred Nile and stood for the federal seat of North Sydney for The Arts Party. About 2% of the electorate voted for me
Then I spent an incredible night with Dr Boogie at Taronga Zoo for Dreamnight, and a week later flew around Sydney with a bunch of amazing families on a large QANTAS jet then had a joyful day at Bear Cottage
I shot two ads and did some fabulous corporate jobs thanks to my marvellous agents
The heartbreaking deaths of Sandra Bland and Miss Dhu taught us that we still have a long way to go if we want to end the high rates of black people dying in custody
White Australia failed to acknowledge Aboriginal people in our constitution
Sharks ate lots of humans this year, Adam Goodes retired and despite finding a Boeing flaperon, MH370 is still missing
In Paris, Syria, Beirut and Afghanistan innocents were murdered and suicide bombers went off
I spent another wonderful year being a fool in hospitals in the presence of beautiful families, while the mothers of MEB helped me parent. 2015 has been an exhausting and inspiring year of madness
Today the people of North Sydney must decide who will represent them in Canberra in the House of Representatives. MP Joe Hockey retired early, which meant a by-election costing taxpayers approximately $1.5 million had to be held, even though there will be a federal election sometime next year. There are 13 candidates in today’s poll, ranging from strong independents to more of the same white males, to new faces in brand new parties, passionate about bringing new ideas to the Australian political landscape.
I’m really hoping the fine people of the lower North Shore vote for change, that they put their faith in a candidate with fresh ideas not the one with the huge budget for self-promotion and out-of-date policies. I hope they’ll vote for a candidate who wants to recognise indigenous people in our constitution, improve our environment, and make education, health and the arts as their top priorities and the woman who will best serve the electorate.