Happy Next Year
Posted: December 31, 2018 Filed under: Self improvement | Tags: Happy New Year, happy single mothering, I say a little prayer for you, NYE 2018, single mothers with attitude, single mum celebrations Leave a commentHappy New Year. Hope you have fun tonight. I want a smallish glass of good champagne. At one point in my life I would have drunk tequila made from wombat wee if the bar ran dry and now I’m a one glass screamer. Mummies getting smashed is so last year.
In 2019 we will have:
More hopes
More dreams
Fewer emails, more laughter
More kisses, less complaining
Zero idiot rich white male politicians, more wise women from diverse backgrounds
Less coconut milk, more chocolate
Fewer inspirational quotes, more doing
More policies, less political slogans
More teenage dirtbags, less sanitised posers
More sleep, less stress
More grunge, less photoshop
More fun, fewer rules
More rebellion
More open hearts
We can learn to love again
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2018 aspirations
Posted: January 7, 2018 Filed under: LOVE, WRITERS | Tags: 2018 a fabulous new year, 2018 hopes and dreams, 2018 resolutions, change the world, dump Trump, Happy New Year, helpful hints for single mothers, laugh dance sing kiss cuddle, save the planet, single mother life advice, single mother tips, travel 4 CommentsSuddenly all my annoying habits from 2017 have vanished. In 2018 I will:
Keep tolerating fools (they are my colleagues after all)
Drink only the best water (in my gin)
Become motherhood Zen master & remain composed always (cue teen eye roll)
Run, jump, hop, skip
Be a good friend
Sing
Kiss more often
Swim like a dolphin in an ocean I’ve never swum in before
Help someone kick cancer’s arse
Travel places I’ve never been
Hug old friends and make new ones
Eat lots of green vegies
Behave like a macro neurotic nun
Roller skate
Smoosh my cat
Boogie like a lunatic
Write my heart out
Attend fabulous rainbow weddings, dance on tables
In 2018 we must:
Dump Trump, Turnbull and the other greedy narcissists for the future of our planet
Stop using plastic bags
Stop voting for rednecks who only care about their own wealth (see RWNJ’s above)
End negative gearing
Find a cure for brain cancer
Eat more hot chips
Smash the patriarchy
Laugh like a drain
Donate blood
Speak up
Admire more abs, delts and pecs
Pat more pooches
Follow our passions
Cuddle more babies
Rise up and resist
What’s on your resolution list?
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The resolutions will be televised
Posted: December 31, 2015 Filed under: Self improvement | Tags: 2016 off to a good start, 2016 resolutions, Advice for single mothers, Christmas hangover, Happy New Year, John Lennon - (Just Like) Starting Over (promo video 1980), New Year Resolutions, resolutions to be broken 2 CommentsAnd they will be Instagrammed, photoshopped, Facebooked, Tweeted, Pinned, Googled, Tumblr’d and flogged on every available social media site. I hope the New Years Eve revolution (where we overthrow the politicians who run the current economic system of inequality) will be televised, but we’ll probably just be watching the same predictable TV show hosts bumbling their way through awkward live broadcasts of drunk people and fireworks.
Here is my riveting Lou Pollard official single mother New Year’s resolutions list (patent pending). In 2016 I promise I will:
1. Give up making lists that will never be acted upon
2. Feed the cat
3. Pat the backyard lizard
4. Sleep
5. Breathe
6. Swim
7. Laugh a lot
8. Prise myself away from pointless youtube searches
9. Dance
10. Feed the children
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Single mother splurge fest
Posted: December 31, 2014 Filed under: Single Motherhood | Tags: Auld Lang Single Mother, cheap single mothering, Happy New Year, Monty python - The Universe song which also goes under the name of The Galaxy song, NYE 2014, single mother menu, single mother New Year's resolutions, single mother recipes, Something better will come along, The universe will provide something 1 CommentMy resolution for 2015 is to focus on me, me, me in the spare five minutes I have before I return to my glamorous life of washing up, reheating microwave friendly food and idle gossip. On New Year’s Eve forget the frugal flan, pitch the Prozac with a cask wine chaser, bin the baked bean bolognaise for just one day. Go on single mothers, lash out and buy yourself a noice bottle of bubbly or some expensive choccies, you deserve it. Here’s to $20 out of our meagre budget well spent. The universe will provide
Happy New Year everyone, even the happy couples
May drunken conversations be forgot, and never brought up again
May life have sun and kids be fun
For the sake of our sanity
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New Year’s resolutions
Posted: December 30, 2011 Filed under: Parenting, Raising Hell, Self improvement, SONGS, Thought For the Day | Tags: Good Girls Gonna Go Bad, Happy New Year, New Year's resolutions, parenting, Tammy Wynette Leave a commentParents don’t really need to make resolutions, we’ve already given up everything, our sanity, our sleep and secure employment. But I have decided to make a few resolutions for 2012:
1. I will give up late night drunk dialling and adding provocative comments on the Facebook pages of spunky men in the New Year. I don’t think it’s helping my dating prospects.
2. I will eat green vegetables and chocolate will not be the only food group I consume when my kids aren’t with me.
3. I will wean myself off reading star sign/astrological forecasting/personal analysis websites (mostly).
4. I will exercise daily (including chocolate eating competitions)
5. I will become a sophisticated urban professional, find a nanny for my children and secure a high-powered executive position. Will work 15-hour days armed with lots of gadgets to make me look successful and I will act terribly important while nanny feeds and clothes my babies. Nanny will rescue me from the quagmire of my life. Damn, why can’t I invent something simple in my kitchen that makes me a million bucks?
6. I will abandon all resolutions by 6th January and carry on with my usual debauchery.
loupollard 