Parents don’t really need to make resolutions, we’ve already given up everything, our sanity, our sleep and secure employment. But I have decided to make a few resolutions for 2012:
1. I will give up late night drunk dialling and adding provocative comments on the Facebook pages of spunky men in the New Year. I don’t think it’s helping my dating prospects.
2. I will eat green vegetables and chocolate will not be the only food group I consume when my kids aren’t with me.
3. I will wean myself off reading star sign/astrological forecasting/personal analysis websites (mostly).
4. I will exercise daily (including chocolate eating competitions)
5. I will become a sophisticated urban professional, find a nanny for my children and secure a high-powered executive position. Will work 15-hour days armed with lots of gadgets to make me look successful and I will act terribly important while nanny feeds and clothes my babies. Nanny will rescue me from the quagmire of my life. Damn, why can’t I invent something simple in my kitchen that makes me a million bucks?
6. I will abandon all resolutions by 6th January and carry on with my usual debauchery.
HAPPY MARRIAGE TIP
Ladies, don’t waste your money on make up, just buy your husband a case of beer every couple of days and you will always look beautiful.
Cinco de Mayo
ADELE, KARL MARX and TAMMY WYNETTE
Tammy Wynette’s birthday, she was married 5 times, what an inspiration – Stand by your bloody man.
Thought for the day – “Cause after all, he’s just a man”
Famous marriages in history: 5 May 2000 – Billy Bob Thornton wed Angelina Jolie.