New Year’s resolutions

Parents don’t really need to make resolutions, we’ve already given up everything, our sanity, our sleep and secure employment. But I have decided to make a few resolutions for 2012:

1. I will give up late night drunk dialling and adding provocative comments on the Facebook pages of spunky men in the New Year. I don’t think it’s helping my dating prospects.

2. I will eat green vegetables and chocolate will not be the only food group I consume when my kids aren’t with me.

3. I will wean myself off reading star sign/astrological forecasting/personal analysis websites (mostly).

4. I will exercise daily (including chocolate eating competitions)

5. I will become a sophisticated urban professional, find a nanny for my children and secure a high-powered executive position. Will work 15-hour days armed with lots of gadgets to make me look successful and I will act terribly important while nanny feeds and clothes my babies. Nanny will rescue me from the quagmire of my life. Damn, why can’t I invent something simple in my kitchen that makes me a million bucks?

6. I will abandon all resolutions by 6th January and carry on with my usual debauchery.