My favourite Muppet

I grew up with Sesame Street and Cookie Monster is my all time favourite. I live by Cookie’s motto: Me so full but me can always eat one more. How can cookies be just a sometimes food? C is for Cookie, that’s good enough for me.

Who is your favourite Muppet?



School formals – Everybody Run

This is a song for all the Sydney school kids who were ripped off by the guy who said he’d organise their end of school parties, then took their money and ran. Hope the school kids catch up with you creep.

I love my job

When I tell people I am a clown doctor some people say “A what?” and others “Oh, that is wonderful, but it must be so hard.” My job is not hard. Being the mother sitting by the bedside of your child in intensive care, praying to God to give you back the child you had before the accident, before the cancer, before the diagnosis, that is hard. My job is fun. I see the beauty of humanity every time I go to work, the caring, the love and the laughter. How many people can say that about their job?

When we go into a hospital ward we take our advice from the nurses. Then we take our cue from the patient. We introduce play into the serious hospital setting. I love working with kids. Kids are already in play mode, they know how to do it, but most adults have forgotten how to be silly. Us adults take ourselves very seriously, but kids know how to laugh and use your imagination to take you to a place where there is no pain, even for five minutes.

At work the nursing staff, the doctors and my colleagues and I are in people’s lives when they are at their most vulnerable. Sometimes it’s the worst day of a family’s life. Our work is not about making fun of people, it’s about sharing the joke. Clown Doctors are usually the butt of the joke. Humour is a loaded gun; we find it’s more effective if you aim it at yourself. Like the medical staff we also believe there is nothing wrong with leaving your patients in stitches.

Here are some beautiful photos of me and my gorgeous colleague Dr Silly Billy at work at The Children’s Hospital at Westmead (in western Sydney) by Cameron Richardson of The Daily Telegraph Sydney.

Su Bo

Last night I watched Susan Boyle onstage at the live X Factor Australia TV show recording. She was nervous, humble and funny. I love Susan Boyle because people thought she was kidding herself and it turns out she wasn’t.

I love her because she is the living antidote to the Kardashian family. Su Bo is famous because she has a genuine singing talent and at the ripe old age of 47 she got off her arse and did something about making her dreams come true. I love her dry Scottish sense of humour, and the fact that she lives on her own and has never married. Susan Boyle prayed that one day her wish would come true. I love her because she gives me hope; the hope that if you work hard at your dream you’ll be rewarded. Eventually.

Yes she sometimes reminds me of the scary aunt that all children grow up with; the relative whom your parents want to visit, who offers you lollies in exchange for sitting on her knee and giving you a slobbery kiss.

But I have a dream my life could be…

Mine is to do nothing but write all day without having to supplement my income doing anything else.

What is your dream?

P.S. I think Susan Boyle may have mimed last night, but I can’t be sure.

Perfect skin

Lloyd Cole wrote a song about me back in the 1980s. I was in school at the time but rock stars can’t seem to stop themselves worshipping me. This song is now a prayer. Please God give me back the skin I had then. I’d also like to point out that I was never a weather girl, otherwise my life would be raining men right now.

Wish list for Santa

I know it’s early but here is my most wanted present list:

1. Hydraulic crane bra to thrust boobies up and out. I want to be able to rest my chin on them when I’m tired.

2. New brain or Mensa member’s if secondhand.

3. Long, white porn star fingernails and a slave for chores so I won’t break nails.

4. Children who feed, clothe and bathe themselves, and walk to school safely.

5. New pelvic floor.

6. Home that cleans itself (with no mortgage)

7. Lifetime supply of Lindt chocolate balls

8. Annual foreign holidays with swarthy, sexy stranger



I must send a copy of my list to Santa.