The resolutions will be televised

And they will be Instagrammed, photoshopped, Facebooked, Tweeted, Pinned, Googled, Tumblr’d and flogged on every available social media site. I hope the New Years Eve revolution (where we overthrow the politicians who run the current economic system of inequality) will be televised, but we’ll probably just be watching the same predictable TV show hosts bumbling their way through awkward live broadcasts of drunk people and fireworks.

 

Here is my riveting Lou Pollard official single mother New Year’s resolutions list (patent pending). In 2016 I promise I will:

 

1. Give up making lists that will never be acted upon
2. Feed the cat
3. Pat the backyard lizard
4. Sleep
5. Breathe
6. Swim
7. Laugh a lot
8. Prise myself away from pointless youtube searches
9. Dance
10. Feed the children


The year my brain broke

2015 was a year of hard work, heartbreak and incredible joy. Some people I love and admire endured tragedy this year, we lost more friends to cancer and many of my friends lost parents.

In March, my Clown Doctor colleagues, Dr S. Duffer and Dr P. Brain and I had a lovely visit to Sydney Children’s Hospital with three members of the Australian cricket team, Brad Haddin, Nathan Lyons and the captain Steve Smith. Lovely blokes who spent hours with very sick kids, told corny jokes and when we took the mickey out of them they were great sports.

My mum went to live in a nursing home

I visited beautiful kids at the Royal Deaf and Blind School with Dr Noodles

In May I received a four-star review for my second solo show and sold out my last performance a the Enmore Theatre for the 2015 Sydney Comedy Festival Looking For Mike Brady

I didn’t find Mike Brady but I developed a crush that lasted all year

In September I wrote and performed my third solo show A Real State for the 2015 Sydney Fringe Comedy Festival

The worst federal government in Australian political history realised they had to ditch the idiot at the top and replace him with a sly fox

In October I played Dream Cricket in Bowral with very special children

In November I travelled to Queensland to giggle, train, sing, laugh and be inspired by my Clown Doctor colleagues from around Australia

In December, I kissed a few babies, met Fred Nile and stood for the federal seat of North Sydney for The Arts Party. About 2% of the electorate voted for me

Then I spent an incredible night with Dr Boogie at Taronga Zoo for Dreamnight, and a week later flew around Sydney with a bunch of amazing families on a large QANTAS jet then had a joyful day at Bear Cottage

I shot two ads and did some fabulous corporate jobs thanks to my marvellous agents

The heartbreaking deaths of Sandra Bland and Miss Dhu taught us that we still have a long way to go if we want to end the high rates of black people dying in custody

White Australia failed to acknowledge Aboriginal people in our constitution

Sharks ate lots of humans this year, Adam Goodes retired and despite finding a Boeing flaperon, MH370 is still missing

In Paris, Syria, Beirut and Afghanistan innocents were murdered and suicide bombers went off

I spent another wonderful year being a fool in hospitals in the presence of beautiful families, while the mothers of MEB helped me parent. 2015 has been an exhausting and inspiring year of madness

at Sydney Children's Hospital

Steve Smith, Brad Haddin, Nathan Lyons, Dr Quack, Dr Duffer & Dr P. Brain