Happy New Year I Think

Week one of my New Year’s Resolutions. So far I’m winning.

Christmas hamper bickies and choccies have enabled my kids to have delicious healthy breakfasts throughout the school holidays with all the major food groups: fat, salt, sugar and preservatives

Christmas wrapping paper carpeting the floor hides all the stains

I embarrassed my children a lot more in 2015 than I did in any other year, I’m hoping to top that in 2016, especially with my fashion choices

My children will learn the meaning of housework

None of them have been to hospital yet

Pieces of craft line the house

Can’t wait until my maid arrives after I’ve won the lottery

For the second year running I will give up washing my teenagers’ clothes, the smell is worth it


Single mother splurge fest

My resolution for 2015 is to focus on me, me, me in the spare five minutes I have before I return to my glamorous life of washing up, reheating microwave friendly food and idle gossip. On New Year’s Eve forget the frugal flan, pitch the Prozac with a cask wine chaser, bin the baked bean bolognaise for just one day. Go on single mothers, lash out and buy yourself a noice bottle of bubbly or some expensive choccies, you deserve it. Here’s to $20 out of our meagre budget well spent. The universe will provide

Happy New Year everyone, even the happy couples

May drunken conversations be forgot, and never brought up again
May life have sun and kids be fun
For the sake of our sanity