Art or Competition?
Posted: March 11, 2018 Filed under: ART, WRITERS, WRITING | Tags: acting, ART, artists, competitive theatre, hip hop, Hustle & Flow Bar Redfern, live DJ, luvvy actors, performance, players, Shakespeare vs hip hop, single mother artists, spoken word, The Leftovers Collective, Theatre, verse, William Shakespeare 1 CommentToday I am indulging my combined love of the bard’s verse and hip hop by competing / performing / appearing in Shakespeare Dance Party, a sharp new show presented by The Leftovers Collective. Fancy.
In a small bar in Redfern, 16 actors will compete for our audience’s love to see who best performs a short Shakespearean sonnet or monologue. Each performer will slam to a beat laid down by a live DJ, not knowing in advance which track will be chosen for them. If the audience likes the art, they will dance. If the audience dislikes the performance, pies will be thrown. The eventual winner receives a part in a web series. The losers need to bring a towel.
In an era of social media starlets, where few skills are needed to become a YouTube star, are actors necessary?
16 tracks
16 artists
A rap roulette
“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.”
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2018 aspirations
Posted: January 7, 2018 Filed under: LOVE, WRITERS | Tags: 2018 a fabulous new year, 2018 hopes and dreams, 2018 resolutions, change the world, dump Trump, Happy New Year, helpful hints for single mothers, laugh dance sing kiss cuddle, save the planet, single mother life advice, single mother tips, travel 4 CommentsSuddenly all my annoying habits from 2017 have vanished. In 2018 I will:
Keep tolerating fools (they are my colleagues after all)
Drink only the best water (in my gin)
Become motherhood Zen master & remain composed always (cue teen eye roll)
Run, jump, hop, skip
Be a good friend
Sing
Kiss more often
Swim like a dolphin in an ocean I’ve never swum in before
Help someone kick cancer’s arse
Travel places I’ve never been
Hug old friends and make new ones
Eat lots of green vegies
Behave like a macro neurotic nun
Roller skate
Smoosh my cat
Boogie like a lunatic
Write my heart out
Attend fabulous rainbow weddings, dance on tables
In 2018 we must:
Dump Trump, Turnbull and the other greedy narcissists for the future of our planet
Stop using plastic bags
Stop voting for rednecks who only care about their own wealth (see RWNJ’s above)
End negative gearing
Find a cure for brain cancer
Eat more hot chips
Smash the patriarchy
Laugh like a drain
Donate blood
Speak up
Admire more abs, delts and pecs
Pat more pooches
Follow our passions
Cuddle more babies
Rise up and resist
What’s on your resolution list?
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I can’t believe the perfect families on my colour TV
Posted: November 12, 2017 Filed under: Politics, SONGS, WRITERS | Tags: 80s teenagers, Armistice Day, auspol, Australian Bands, Australian Music, Australian Politics, Australian stories, Jim Moginie, Midnight Oil, Midnight Oil lyrics, Peter Garrett, political music, political songs, Rob Hirst, The Great Circle Tour 2017, the TV never lies Leave a commentLast night as I stood on the land of the Gadigal clan of the Eora nation cheering AB Original on stage as the opening act for Midnight Oil’s homecoming, I realised that we’ve come quite a way from the 1980s. I first saw Midnight Oil live when I was 16 years old and they changed the way I viewed the world.
They may be white boys from the white bread northern beaches of Sydney but in the early 80s for many of us white bread teens from the suburbs they were our introduction to what was actually happening to indigenous Australians. I learnt nothing of Aboriginal culture at school, I was only taught about the white invaders. So many of us had no idea of the atrocities and abuse committed by white governments and their White Australia policy; Midnight Oil opened our eyes to what was actually happening. The Oils were writing Australian songs and telling our stories and I’d never heard anything like it.
And those biceps. I will never forget standing near the stage at the Sydney Entertainment Centre and watching Rob Hirst drumming. Uh oh! My first musician crush, setting myself up for a lifetime of being attracted to players. Sigh.
Last night, as we waited for Midnight Oil in the shadow of the glowing Deutsche Bank sign, I thought of how the Oils have sung about many big companies that have raped our planet, and how we need protest music more than ever. When they played Blue Sky Mine I thought of the hideous she-devil Bishop defending James Hardie and making a dying Bernie Banton wait for compensation. This year she was briefly our Acting Prime Minister.
As the crowd roared from the opening bars of Armistice Day, I thought there is nowhere else I’d rather be right now. When Peter Garrett spoke of stopping the giant Carmichael mine and the carnage that Adani could bring to the Great Barrier Reef, one idiot in the crowd behind said,
“Shut up and play the music.” Only a moron comes to a Midnight Oil gig and demands that politics aren’t mentioned. Before I had a chance to tell him to go home and listen to Kylie Minogue, the band came back with more raw, punching rawk:
I see buildings, clothing the sky, in paradise
Sydney, nights are warm
Daytime telly, blue rinse dawn
Dad’s so bad he lives in the pub, it’s underarms and football clubs
Flat chat, Pine Gap, in every home a Big Mac
And no one goes outback, that’s that
You take what you get and get what you please
It’s better to die on your feet than to live on your knees
I love that Midnight Oil are a band with strong political opinions, and musically, they were simply brilliant. They’ve done so many shows this year the band is tighter than ever. And they were backed by the incredible Hunters and Collectors horn section. I don’t know what painkillers the injured Jim Moginie was taking but his guitar playing was inspired. I’d forgotten how good they are live. The waves of screaming energy and excitement kept coming as my hips reminded me how their music made me feel in my teens.
Today my body aches, but my heart is filled with the thought that perhaps I’m not the only one who cares about changing our world.
Not much time, but time to try
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Shifty at 50
Posted: September 19, 2016 Filed under: Birthdays, COMEDY, Self improvement, WRITERS | Tags: 50 years old, 50th birthday, ageing, dancing, fine wine, laughing, life goals, Linda Ronstadt - Blue Bayou on The Muppet Show, old bag, singing, single mother delusions, turning 50 2 CommentsI am officially an old bag. Today I turn 50 and I’m trying hard not to whinge. For it is a privilege to be 50. My friends who died of breast cancer in their 40s would love to be where I am. And so would the kids who were robbed of their mothers.
The beautiful sick kids I’ve met at the hospitals I work in who left way too soon didn’t get to be adults at all. And the families and friends of my darlings Veljko, Mark and Anthony who died in their 20s would love to know them in their 50s. Those guys would have aged like fine wine if they’d had the chance.
I don’t feel that different, but I look in the mirror and I see age creeping up on me. I was born on a Monday, “Monday’s child is fair of face,” but my face looks like it needs more sleep. And my knees creak from all the stilt walking, gymnastics and dancing drunk in stupid high heels over the past 35 years. I can still have fun with my kids, my best friends, the families I meet through my work and I share great love with a beautiful heart. But there are things I’m worried that I haven’t done yet. Maybe I won’t get to live in New York or drive across Africa. Maybe I won’t be brave enough to sail across the world. Maybe crazy life goals are in the past. Maybe I won’t sing with Kermit or be the next teen superstar.
I share my birthday with fabulous people like Twiggy, Jeremy Irons, Frances Farmer, Mama Cass, Daniel Lanois, Nile Rodgers, Jimmy Fallon and Alison Sweeney from Days of Our Lives, darling. Today is also International Talk Like a Pirate day.
http://talklikeapirate.com/wordpress/
At 50 I’ve realised that the cocker spaniels I’ve had in my life may be the only dogs I own in this lifetime as I can’t afford to buy a house.
But 50 brings great rewards. I can sing, dance, laugh and love, I have fabulous kids, and I’ve given up people who drain me of precious energy. I have no time for those who don’t contribute to improving our world. So hit the high seas for some hijinks you swashbuckling scoundrels. I’ll be wearing my new earrings that cost a bucaneer. 50 is swell.
Linda Ronstadt – Blue Bayou on The Muppet Show
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I am an artiste
Posted: August 29, 2015 Filed under: Self improvement, WRITERS | Tags: art for art's sake, Australian comedians, don't bullshit a bullshitter, female comedians, Kelis - Milkshake, modern artists, my artist statement, single mother ambitions, single mother artists mission statement, single mother fashion icons, that's art that is Leave a commentAs I attempt to be a full time bullshit artist I thought it was about time my mass of followers received (drum roll) the official Lou Pollard Artist Statement:
Through my work I attempt to examine the phenomenon of Clown as a metaphorical post modern conceptual interpretation of both fart jokes and sad faces.
What began as a personal journey of foolishness, bitterness and procrastination has translated into utterances of profound stupidity that resonate with Fool-identifying white people to question their own meaning.
My mixed media prop laden jokes embody an idiosyncratic view of me as a guru slash hot mess slash cultural icon, yet the familiar imagery allows for a connection between the dominant 21st century archetypes of garden gnomes and junk food.
My written work is in the private collection of Zsa Zsa Gabor’s nephew’s high school classmate who said, ‘fork!, that’s ucken unrool shining Art that is. An’ she’s ‘ucken cheap as.’
I am a recipient of a grant from Centrelink, after they tagged me and released me back into the wild camouflaged as a cougar. I have performed in group shows on Rundle Mall and for staff at the TAB, though not at the same time. I currently spend my time between my gendered bed and bathroom.
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Does my sassiness upset you?
Posted: May 29, 2014 Filed under: FEMINISM, LOVE, WRITERS | Tags: Ben Harper - I'll Rise with words from a poem by Maya Angelou, courage, does my confidence offend you?, grace, I rise, joy, love only, Maya Angelou, Poetry for single mothers, RIP Maya Angelou, single mother inspiration, we have lost a warrior for peace, you may shoot me with your words Leave a commentDear Maya Angelou, the world is a poorer place without you. Thank you for the love, wisdom and joy your writing brought us. Your words gave me hope in the darkest days of my life. Your strength and dignity in the face of life’s challenges are an inspiration.
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If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books…
Posted: November 19, 2013 Filed under: WRITERS, WRITING | Tags: Alain De Botton, Caitlin Moran, can't live without books, David Sedaris, DBC Pierre, Donna Tartt, Haruki Murakami, Henry David Thoreau, Jack Pollard Australian author, Jack Pollard books, Joan Didion, Lemony Snickert books, loaded on gin, must read books, never trust anyone who doesn't read, Quotes by John Waters, reading, reading addicts anonymous, reading by an open fire, reading is as important as breathing, Ryan Adams - Sylvia Plath, Stewart Lee, Tim Winton, to read list, William Shakespeare, Writers 4 CommentsShakespeare said we must, “unpack our heart with words.”
My name’s Lou and I’m a reader-holic. Reading keeps me sane but I don’t have enough time for all the books I’ve fallen in love with because I let trivial things like work and child rearing get in the way of my devotion to great literature. I’ll read anywhere; it’s not a problem. I take hours at the supermarket because I read every label. I scan the back of the cereal box at breakfast because I’ve taught my children it’s rude to read at the table. But really I’d be reading that too if I didn’t have to talk to them about their day.
My writer dad fostered my devotion to great books, when I was 11 he gave me Hemingway and Steinbeck to read and we talked about their writing. I still remember talking to Dad about the ocean being a character in Hemingway’s book The Old Man and The Sea when I was 12 years old. Books kept my dad’s mind alive through his deprived childhood and he treasured the craft of good writers.
This is a photo of the current to read pile beside my bed. The book at the top is what I’m reading right now. The one at the bottom is by my dad. My dad wrote or edited over 100 books. Reading is my family’s addiction of choice. There are so many books and so little time. When I’m really, really old I’m going to live in a house filled with furry dogs and books and an open fire. The dogs will force me to get out of the house to walk them otherwise I’d stay inside reading and never see the sun. You’re never alone when you have a great book to read. Henry David Thoreau said,
“Books must be read as deliberately and reservedly as they were written.”
But my favourite quote on reading is from Lemony Snickert:
“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.”
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Na No what?
Posted: November 4, 2013 Filed under: WRITERS, WRITING | Tags: 50 000 words is a lot, ational Novel Writing Month, Elvis Costello 1983 Everyday I Write the Book, every day, feed my children while I write, film rights, lonely writer in a garrett, NaNoWriMo, novels, sequels, whobewhatty?, word count mania, Writers, writing 4 CommentsNovember 1 means that (inter) National Novel Writing Month, better known as NaNoWriMo has started. Yes, I’ve pledged to write 50,000 words of a novel in November, with kids and gigs and parties and extra work, what a sensible idea as an already over-committed single mother. Well it’s November 4 and I’m over 5,000 words along. That wasn’t so hard. Yikes. At this rate I’ll be in love with my new novel by chapter two. If my blog is a shambles in November it’s because every day I write the book.
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Ooooh Jasmine
Posted: October 18, 2013 Filed under: ART, D.I.V.O.R.C.E, WRITERS | Tags: Alec Baldwin, Andrew Dice Clay, anxiety, Australian actresses, Bobby Cannavale, Carly Simon - You're So Vain, Cate Blanchett, divorce aftermath, divorce films, emotional abuse, films set in San Francisco, living with a narcissist, Louis CK, Michael Stuhlbarg, NPD, personality disorders, Peter Sarsgaad, Sally Hawkins, self medicating, self-absorption, trigger warnings, Woody Allen films 2 CommentsThis week I went to the movies to see Blue Jasmine with a fellow gay divorcee, and I think this Woody Allen film should come with a trigger warning. If you’ve ever been in a long term relationship which turned out to be a total lie, Jasmine may freak with your head. Every time Jasmine’s anxiety made her pop a Xanax, I kept looking at the audience before I could decide whether to laugh, cry or yell out, ‘Yes! This is what a relationship with a narcissist will do to you.’ Cate Blanchett is brilliant as Jasmine but I didn’t laugh much as it was so close to home. I was reminded of my own hospitalisations and escape four years ago. I left the theatre feeling very anxious and I’m glad my friend and I had a chance to ‘debrief’ afterwards. When she remarked, “That was just like our relationships, except on a grander scale,” I finally felt like I could laugh.
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Sorrow Comes Unsent For
Posted: October 15, 2013 Filed under: LOVE, Parenting, WRITERS, WRITING | Tags: 1 in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage, babies we'll never know, Irma Gold Editor, Journeys Through Miscarriage, personal stories of loss, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, stories about miscarriage and pregnancy loss, the loss of a child, The Sound of Silence Book, The Sound of Silence book trailer Leave a commentToday is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, time to remember the babies I will never know. I wrote a story about one of them entitled Sorrow Comes Unsent For for an anthology of miscarriage stories called The Sound Of Silence.
This extract is taken from the blog of the book’s editor Irma Gold when the book won the Non Fiction award at the ACT Writing and Publishing Awards:
“An anthology about miscarriage seemed an unlikely winner, but win it did. The judges said:
‘The Sound of Silence was the stand-out winner on every level. This book proved to be compellingly readable, boasted good production design and evidenced careful, respectful editing. Although neither of the judges initially expected to be taken by this volume, both ultimately found it absorbing and uplifting. The writing was of the highest quality and deserves a readership well beyond its niche market. In short: An inspirational book and a clear winner.’
Their assessment recognises so many aspects of the book. For me, editing The Sound of Silence was a privilege. Many of the 22 writers had not previously been published, but they worked with me through the lengthy editing process with such grace and enthusiasm. This award acknowledges their strength and courage in telling stories that will help others affected by miscarriage.”
To buy the book click here:
The Sound of Silence Book
This is the trailer for the book:
loupollard 