I am an artiste

As I attempt to be a full time bullshit artist I thought it was about time my mass of followers received (drum roll) the official Lou Pollard Artist Statement:

Through my work I attempt to examine the phenomenon of Clown as a metaphorical post modern conceptual interpretation of both fart jokes and sad faces.

What began as a personal journey of foolishness, bitterness and procrastination has translated into utterances of profound stupidity that resonate with Fool-identifying white people to question their own meaning.

My mixed media prop laden jokes embody an idiosyncratic view of me as a guru slash hot mess slash cultural icon, yet the familiar imagery allows for a connection between the dominant 21st century archetypes of garden gnomes and junk food.

My written work is in the private collection of Zsa Zsa Gabor’s nephew’s high school classmate who said, ‘fork!, that’s ucken unrool shining Art that is. An’ she’s ‘ucken cheap as.’

I am a recipient of a grant from Centrelink, after they tagged me and released me back into the wild camouflaged as a cougar. I have performed in group shows on Rundle Mall and for staff at the TAB, though not at the same time. I currently spend my time between my gendered bed and bathroom.


My husband list has one name on it

Anxiety, paranoia and sheer terror are all the right ingredients for a successful performance. Tonight I’m performing my solo stand up comedy show ‘Looking For Mike Brady’ for the 2015 Sydney Comedy Festival at the Enmore Theatre and I can’t wait to meet my audience, if not my future husband.

“The loveliest of faces are to be seen by moonlight, when one sees half with the eye and half with the fancy” Persian Proverb

LP MIke Brady SCF 2015


Good on ya ripper bewdy mate

When my children ask me questions about 26 January 1788 I try to be an intelligent, thoughtful single mother. I like to remind them that it’s called Australia Day, not ‘today I have a license to be a redneck racist day.’ And Aboriginal people remember it very differently to us white people. For some Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, it is Survival Day, a celebration of the survival of people and culture. Australians hold many different views on what 26 January means to them. So I like to explain to my gals in an all encompassing, feminist-leaning, intersectional, embracing all cultures and values kind of way what Australia Day means, but sometimes I get choked up with the sentiment of the day and I’m lost for words. So I’ll put it like this:
Happy Straya Day youse are all tops, onya, get a yabbie up ya, chuck a coldie down ya neck cobber.


Not suitable for children

I’m performing a show for the 2013 Sydney Fringe Festival on 19, 20 and 21 September called Lou Pollard is Not Suitable For Children. It’s laugh out loud comedy with attitude. Breeders and non breeders welcome.

According to Freud it’s the role of the mother to mess with the child’s psyche and Lou Pollard has been doing her share, from shoplifting to stealing her children’s tooth fairy money. Sensational stand up with a show stopping song finale.

Lou Pollard – Comedy Show September 2013


Innit

On the first Friday of every month I get together with a bunch of funny chicks and a few lady men and attempt to make people laugh. A lot. My fellow fools and I host Comedy On Tap Sydney at Tap Gallery in Darlinghurst. I’m the youngest child in my family so I’ve been trying to divert people’s anger with my humour all my life. To quote Shakespeare “I was born to speak all mirth and no matter” (Much Ado About Nothing). It’s a laugh innit?