Art or Competition?

Today I am indulging my combined love of the bard’s verse and hip hop by competing / performing / appearing in Shakespeare Dance Party, a sharp new show presented by The Leftovers Collective. Fancy.

In a small bar in Redfern, 16 actors will compete for our audience’s love to see who best performs a short Shakespearean sonnet or monologue. Each performer will slam to a beat laid down by a live DJ, not knowing in advance which track will be chosen for them. If the audience likes the art, they will dance. If the audience dislikes the performance, pies will be thrown. The eventual winner receives a part in a web series. The losers need to bring a towel.

In an era of social media starlets, where few skills are needed to become a YouTube star, are actors necessary?

16 tracks

16 artists

A rap roulette

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.”

No, say it isn’t so

I’m Not Bossy, I’m The Boss

As a financially-challenged single mother I don’t usually have the money to buy myself special presents but last Christmas I made an exception. I’ve waited more than 25 years to see the sassy, funny, extraordinary Sinead O’Connor and tonight I’m going to the Sydney Opera House to hear her live. Her music has helped me through some really tough times and I cannot wait to see her up close.

Blessed are the meme makers

I love talented photographers, dazzling designers and clever people who can make me look like I’m 19 again with their magic photoshop thingymajiggies. But for the love of what’s left of my eyesight can you dear funny political meme makers please stop creating images of politicians that feature their actual photos? Especially with the upcoming ‘Liberal spill’ in the Australian federal parliament next week. I say no more budgie smugglers, evil smirks, lecherous winks, creepy smiles, insincere poses and TA masquerading as a human being. Stop it, put those faces away, I can’t stand looking at them online any more. Please use cartoon characters or goat’s heads instead. TMI. If I see one more ugly pollie kissing a baby or pretending to be a hero I may….

I know you had to go but…

I had so many questions to ask you. When you think you’ve got all the time in the world with someone you probably don’t.


Thank you Stevie

Thank you for your music, you truly are a wonder.


It’s the end of the year, so it is compulsory to make a list of achievements and resolutions and laundry. As a full time marketing guru and on trend media professional, I like to make predictions on what will be hip and cool next week.

The big trends of 2013 were:

Sports people making a dick of themselves while under the influence or prescription and performance enhancing drugs
Teenagers discovered that the original song was better than the cover version recorded by X Factor and Nobody’s Got Enough Talent contestants
Politicians relied on charities to fund important equipment in hospitals
White Australians made racist remarks
Aboriginal people behaved graciously and tried not to punch said white people’s lights out after 200 + years of provocation
Australian politicians dribbled all over babies in the longest political campaign in the history of the universe
Pickled onions on crackers with plastic cheese became incredibly fashionable
Footy socks with thongs were huge this year in Paris

I think the big trends for 2014 will be:
Parents photographing their children’s farts to post online
Viral marketing will be huge in hospitals – think flu, herpes, chicken pox and ebola and small pox viruses
Brady bunch style families complete with housekeeper, wooden-panelled station wagons and friendly local butcher
Repetition could catch on in a big way in 2014
Flanellette underpants in summer
Football teams who take copious amounts of performance enhancing drugs may actually win a championship
Researchers will find a cure for politicians who take themselves too seriously
Global warming BBQs will be the hit of every neighbourhood
80s perms will make a comeback for one week in mid July
Repetition could catch on in a big way in 2014
Americans will realise that guns kill a lot of people

(C) Lou Pollard 2013

One hit wonderland

Even when I mature I will never grow out of my tragic obsession with so bad it’s good music. And the hits keep on coming. Who could forget The Ferrets Don’t Fall In Love or Smokie’s Living Next Door To Alice in 1977? Samantha Sang’s Emotion and Dave Warner’s Suburban Boy were highlights of 1978. But my current fer-sure favourite from 1982 totally is:

One Hit Wonders Part Two

I forgot so much fabulous music in my original post I could’t live with myself if I didn’t highlight other neglected 70s classics like Pussyfoot’s 1976 hit The Way That You Do It, Noosha Fox’s S-S-S-Single Bed and Lene Lovich’s Lucky Number. Or what about Patrick Hernandez’ Born To Be Alive or Player’s Baby Come Back from the golden age of smooth disco? My current favourite is Divine’s 80s hit You Think You’re A Man? My list of wonder hits is so very, very long if I read it out loud the accompanying soundtrack would be the Bee Gees’ song Tragedy (except they were no one hit wonders). What are your favourite 70s and 80s tragic tunes? Or 50s, 60s, 90s or current one hit wonders?

Ooooh Jasmine

This week I went to the movies to see Blue Jasmine with a fellow gay divorcee, and I think this Woody Allen film should come with a trigger warning. If you’ve ever been in a long term relationship which turned out to be a total lie, Jasmine may freak with your head. Every time Jasmine’s anxiety made her pop a Xanax, I kept looking at the audience before I could decide whether to laugh, cry or yell out, ‘Yes! This is what a relationship with a narcissist will do to you.’ Cate Blanchett is brilliant as Jasmine but I didn’t laugh much as it was so close to home. I was reminded of my own hospitalisations and escape four years ago. I left the theatre feeling very anxious and I’m glad my friend and I had a chance to ‘debrief’ afterwards. When she remarked, “That was just like our relationships, except on a grander scale,” I finally felt like I could laugh.