Trendy

It’s the end of the year, so it is compulsory to make a list of achievements and resolutions and laundry. As a full time marketing guru and on trend media professional, I like to make predictions on what will be hip and cool next week.

The big trends of 2013 were:

Sports people making a dick of themselves while under the influence or prescription and performance enhancing drugs
Teenagers discovered that the original song was better than the cover version recorded by X Factor and Nobody’s Got Enough Talent contestants
Politicians relied on charities to fund important equipment in hospitals
White Australians made racist remarks
Aboriginal people behaved graciously and tried not to punch said white people’s lights out after 200 + years of provocation
Australian politicians dribbled all over babies in the longest political campaign in the history of the universe
Pickled onions on crackers with plastic cheese became incredibly fashionable
Footy socks with thongs were huge this year in Paris

I think the big trends for 2014 will be:
Parents photographing their children’s farts to post online
Viral marketing will be huge in hospitals – think flu, herpes, chicken pox and ebola and small pox viruses
Brady bunch style families complete with housekeeper, wooden-panelled station wagons and friendly local butcher
Repetition could catch on in a big way in 2014
Flanellette underpants in summer
Football teams who take copious amounts of performance enhancing drugs may actually win a championship
Researchers will find a cure for politicians who take themselves too seriously
Global warming BBQs will be the hit of every neighbourhood
80s perms will make a comeback for one week in mid July
Repetition could catch on in a big way in 2014
Americans will realise that guns kill a lot of people

(C) Lou Pollard 2013