Spring fashun for style-ish single mothers

It’s that time of year again, when the most important issue keeping us awake at night is not that the madman in the White House or Turnbull gifting multi millions to bogus charitable foundations, but what the hell are we style queens on a budget going to wear when global warming makes us suffer stifling summer weather all year round. Remarkable fashion looks like these are on my mind:

Bare feet are more affordable than ballet flats for running around after little monsters

Basic black is timeless when it comes to stained T-shirts

Add edge to your look with UGH boots, they do the trick paired with undies

’90s style is making a serious comeback, flanelette underpants give us grunge chic without sacrificing comfort

A fashionable recyclable Coles shopping bag is the perfect weekend skirt, pair it with sleeves made from the excessive wrappings off your fruit

Coconut halves, with a nod to equestrian style, are now the ubiquitous spring shoe to pair with everything from cut-off shorts to a floral sundress

Add polish to a t-shirt and jeans by wearing your old wedding dress over the top

Through snow and ice, gum boots are a must have, especially when you can’t bear to put on clothes for the umpteenth time

Add sultry style to your look with no bra

Brenton Wood – The Oogum Boogum Song 1967


I am an artiste

As I attempt to be a full time bullshit artist I thought it was about time my mass of followers received (drum roll) the official Lou Pollard Artist Statement:

Through my work I attempt to examine the phenomenon of Clown as a metaphorical post modern conceptual interpretation of both fart jokes and sad faces.

What began as a personal journey of foolishness, bitterness and procrastination has translated into utterances of profound stupidity that resonate with Fool-identifying white people to question their own meaning.

My mixed media prop laden jokes embody an idiosyncratic view of me as a guru slash hot mess slash cultural icon, yet the familiar imagery allows for a connection between the dominant 21st century archetypes of garden gnomes and junk food.

My written work is in the private collection of Zsa Zsa Gabor’s nephew’s high school classmate who said, ‘fork!, that’s ucken unrool shining Art that is. An’ she’s ‘ucken cheap as.’

I am a recipient of a grant from Centrelink, after they tagged me and released me back into the wild camouflaged as a cougar. I have performed in group shows on Rundle Mall and for staff at the TAB, though not at the same time. I currently spend my time between my gendered bed and bathroom.


Hello Dolly

This woman must be inducted into the Fashion Hall of Fame. Happy birthday Dolly, you are fabulous. When I grow up I’m going to be you Dolly Parton