Addicted

Posted: March 25, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Self improvement, Thought For the Day | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This week we learned that we must no longer go online because bad people will steal our identities, our children will turn into Minecraft addicted zombie bots (too late) and we’ll all start speaking Russian and worshipping Putin.

This is a blog post about why you shouldn’t be reading my blog online because your health will suffer. It is harmful to be on the Internet. Please direct lots of people here and make a habit of visiting my site because it will help my stats, but don’t become dependent. It will be your fault dear readers if you give me insomnia while I stay up all night dealing with all the comments and emails and awkward conversations that your online obsession provokes. You’ll be fine on my blog, but don’t visit any other websites, and please make sure you don’t tell Cambridge Analytica that you have been reading this post. And don’t comment with the F word or Mark Zuckerberg’s lawyers will come to your house late at night and steal your thoughts.

Isn’t our world moronic? Don’t you think?

This post has been brought to you by the Alanis Morrissette school of irony and Instagram influencer mothers posting photos of their kids playing #devicefree and #technologyfree while those mothers profit from these same kids’ lives on social media.

#irony

Ed Byrne on Irony

Gen Y lexicon

Posted: August 8, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Self improvement, WRITING | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gen Y are a group of young adults who will never be able to move out of home because their baby boomer parents bought all the property in Australian cities through negative gearing. The members of Generation Y have been under attack, apparently their parents told them they were fabulous too many times so young Y’s grew up feeling entitled to everything, even a job. Here’s my take on Generation Y can’t we change careers every year:

Thank you to Urban Dictionary for helpful clues

A is for ATTENTION SPAN of an ant
Apparently Gen Y’s stay in a job just long enough to use the bathroom, then they’re off to find themselves

B is for BABY BOOMER PARENTS
Who still think they’re teenagers

C is for CONVERSATION
Something people did in the olden days before tablets and texting was invented

D is for DENIAL
Don’t want to grow up? Baby Boomer parents didn’t want to either

E is for ENTITLED
Apparently this is not fashionable any more

F is for FAUX
Can’t afford the real thing but I MUST have it

G is for GET A WELL PAID JOB
Then all your housing dreams will come true

H is for HOME with the parents
Only until the age of 45

I is for INSTA
Everything is now

J is for JUSTIN BIEBER
Last year’s Davy Jones, Donny Osmond, David Cassidy, Mark Wahlberg, Zac Efron

K is for KNOW IT ALL
Irritating Boomer who thinks they’re hip enough to work in a predominately Gen Y office

L is for LONG SERVICE LEAVE
Que?

M is for MISUNDERSTOOD
Word

N is for NARCISSISTIC
Applies to every Gen Y human. No one born before Gen Y’s ever gave a thought to their own needs

O is for ORIGINAL
Something music used to be

P is for PRE-INTERNET
The land before time, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth

Q is for QUALITY
Better than quantity

R is for RUDE
X’ers who know everything & frequently lecture the generation born after them

S is for SAMPLE
Legitimate use of anyone’s art

T is for TEXTURAL
Only to be used when talking about food

U is for UNROOL
Try hard language for old people

V is for VINTAGE CLOTHING
Old people call it second hand or hand me downs

W is for WHY
Didn’t your mother keep her entire wardrobe from 1977?

X is for X’ers
Annoying Generation who came before the chosen people

Y is for Yaaass

Z is for ZED
Generation of digital natives born after the special people