In the firkst month of Christmas holidays

My children gave to me:
Seven additive-riddled candy canes
Six recycled Christmas gifts
Five onion rings
Four nudie runs
Three pairs of socks
Two manky collages

But no back dated maintenance payments from their father


May the Fourth be with you

Long, long ago in a far, far away galaxy called my delinquent childhood, I wanted to be an outer space princess. My best friend’s dad took us to see the Star Wars fillum when it was first released at the beautiful State Theatre in Sydney. Most 70s movies were a complete cockfest but this movie had our feminist heroine Princess Leia fighting the blokes while rocking a Grecian gown and sporting hair donuts that all of us gals copied immediately for school the following week. Now when I am exhausted and my children are screaming at each other I mutter, ‘Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.” May the force be with you…..