HUSBANDABLE – capable of being economically used or fit for cultivation

– Shorter Oxford Dictionary

This year I can’t wait to find the next man I’m going to break up with. Hopefully he won’t call me a ball busting bitch  in Bunnings on a Saturday afternoon like the last one did as we stood in the 468 pieces of metal crap aisle, with every DIY lover watching our show. And hopefully he’ll have all his own teeth and a dead mother. Or at least a blind, deaf, mute mother who lives in Uzbekhistan. I live in hope…