Dear Santa

G’day. Here’s my last minute Christmas list for you. I’ve been very busy this year, so as I haven’t really had time to be naughty I think I’m in with a chance of getting a few of these items. So this Christmas I wish  you could:

1. Please send really sick kids home from children’s hospitals with good health
2. Please give their parents a restful break
3. Please find homes for homeless people, especially those battling snow and bitter winds
4. Please change the gun laws in the US
5. Please outlaw the over-supply of greedy real estate agents who profit from people’s basic need for housing
6. Please give the tectonic plates a rest for a while
7. Please kick out politicians who put their own personal profits ahead of the health, harmony, safety and education of the nation they pretend to be serving
8. Please send French champagne and chocolates to my loved ones while I have a lie down
9. Please keep an eye on my eldest as she adventures through the wilds of South America
10. Please tell whoever is in charge of choosing who dies (I don’t know where they are, maybe in the office next to yours at the North Pole?) not to take any more of our fabulous artists. Can this entity please choose despots, thugs and so-called success coaches in 2017 instead?

I’m trying not to be greedy but some peace, love, joy, giggles, goodwill, gratitude, patience, kisses, health, harmony, dark chocolate, extra light for Channukah, belly laughter, hugs, respect and no new Mariah Carey singles for a while would be ace too

Thanks mate, I’ve got beer waiting for you as long as your reindeer poo out the back of my garden