We hope you enjoyed your stay in our hotel. Please fill out this survey so we can judge your level of customer satisfaction and we can annoy our staff with ridiculous statistics about their performance, even though you had one conversation with them that lasted all of two minutes. These surveys will take longer to answer than your actual stay in our facility.
In a few days we’d like to call you to discuss the results of our tedious marketing logarithms.
Don’t call me when I’m feeding my kids
When I say I don’t have time for your idiot questions, I don’t have time, fuck off
Don’t call or email me when I buy a new phone, change my plan, check out of your hotel, buy groceries, fill up the car, change a frigging light bulb!
And stop paying idiots with dodgy marketing degrees to come up with new buzz words du jour:
If you have to use the hash tag #authentic then perhaps you’re not
Please join our social networking channels, which have content about as interesting as having a pap smear. Enough. There are too many places to waste time already, I’ve lost track of the names:
How about we all go to a party down the road and argue in real time. I’ll bring a pie