Now my children are back at reform school I can relax and think about myself again. Today I filled my head with intellectual information from Women’s Monthly magazine (I think that’s what it is called). I want wrinkle-free botoxed skin like the smooth faced actresses who pretend not to have had plastic surgery. I am addicted to the lifestyle promoted by trash rag magazines; I want a life of elegant laziness, relying solely on my good looks. Unfortunately as I am almost 30 years old I think I may have left my run a bit late.