Single Mother Handy Hints for the School Holidays

Suggested school holiday menu:
1. Take it or leave it
2. Any food item that can be left in the oven and baked within an inch of its life is worth feeding to a child
3. Now is a good time for your kids to learn to cook
4. Like it or lump it
5. Tell your kids your family has been invited to appear on a reality TV show and vote yourself out of the kitchen. Run
6. Vegemite sandwiches are fashionable this week on Instagram

Suggested body armour to protect mothers from harm during long winter school holidays:
Helmet

Kneepads

Medication

Nanny

Eye Candy

Au pair

Shin pads

Babysitter

Chardonnay/Shiraz therapy

Pyjamas look great at 4 o’clock in the afternoon

Wear a onesie or matching tracksuit if you have teenagers, they’ll leave you alone in public