Fool’s birthday

It’s my 29th birthday and I don’t look a day over 45. I’ve had lots of messages from 100 imaginary friends on social media, nothing from my family and my kids punched each other over breakfast.

It’s also International Talk like A Pirate Day and I want to scream, “ARRRRR, FORKEN, FORKEN, FORKEN, ARRRRRRRR.”

Tony Abbott may have gone (early birthday present), but it seems that a 1950s Catholic committee are still running the asylum that Australia has become. Anti single mothers, anti-women achieving anything other than housework, pro-coal mining, big business destroying the environment, I can’t wait to get rid of these philistines. This lot couldn’t run a piss-up in a brewery.

Malcolm Turnbull needs to appoint 10 single mothers to his cabinet, then he’ll achieve something. Single mothers work quickly to get everything done before we have to dash to pick up kids, then home to make dinner. If Joe Hockey needs to find money for the budget, hiring single mothers would mean a budget cut of about 40%, we work cheaply.

Really all I want for my birthday is a new order. Two years of the fascist boys club running our country and Australia has become the laughing stock of the world. Sigh.