Fool’s birthday
Posted: September 19, 2015 Filed under: AUSTRALIA, Birthdays | Tags: celebrating in Australia soon, cheers, happy birthday to me, Rihanna - Cheers (Drink To That), self help for single moms, single mom birthday surprises, single mom delusions, single mother birthday treats, single mother partying, single mother wishlist 2 CommentsIt’s my 29th birthday and I don’t look a day over 45. I’ve had lots of messages from 100 imaginary friends on social media, nothing from my family and my kids punched each other over breakfast.
It’s also International Talk like A Pirate Day and I want to scream, “ARRRRR, FORKEN, FORKEN, FORKEN, ARRRRRRRR.”
Tony Abbott may have gone (early birthday present), but it seems that a 1950s Catholic committee are still running the asylum that Australia has become. Anti single mothers, anti-women achieving anything other than housework, pro-coal mining, big business destroying the environment, I can’t wait to get rid of these philistines. This lot couldn’t run a piss-up in a brewery.
Malcolm Turnbull needs to appoint 10 single mothers to his cabinet, then he’ll achieve something. Single mothers work quickly to get everything done before we have to dash to pick up kids, then home to make dinner. If Joe Hockey needs to find money for the budget, hiring single mothers would mean a budget cut of about 40%, we work cheaply.
Really all I want for my birthday is a new order. Two years of the fascist boys club running our country and Australia has become the laughing stock of the world. Sigh.
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Uplifting quotes for single mothers
Posted: September 20, 2014 Filed under: Single Motherhood | Tags: cheap single mother meals, cheap single mothering, happy birthday to me, I like pie, inspirational single mothers, Lou Pollard is a motivational speaker, moving quotes, single mother proverbs, single mother self help, single mother truths, single motherhood quotes, Waylon Jennings - Mamas Don`t Let Your Babies Grow up to be Cowboys 2 CommentsI woke up the day after my birthday in a reflective mood, and I am deeply moved by the home made cards my children created on a very low budget. So very inspired that I have created some quotes that I think may help other single mothers cope with the day-to-day madness of parenting on our own.
“A single mother is a person who, seeing there are only three pieces of pie left for her and her three kids, hides the pie from the kids so she can eat it while they’re visiting their father in jail.”
“The child standing in front of the microwave gets the most baked beans.”
“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to pay their mother.”
“Nothing I’ve ever done has given me as much pain and heartburn as parenting teenagers.”
“It doesn’t matter who my mother is, it matters that she doesn’t turn up at the school gate looking like a tramp.”
“Being a good mother is the most important role I’ll ever play and if I don’t do it well, my kids won’t be able to pay for my champagne when they’re older.”
I love these quotes (some of my best work), they’re so beautiful and so true. I think Louise Hay may include them in her next book.
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I am a teenage dirtbag, aren’t I?
Posted: September 19, 2013 Filed under: Birthdays, Single, Single Motherhood, Thought For the Day | Tags: George Cadbury birthday, happy birthday to me, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, International Talk Like A Pirate Day, Lou Pollard birthday, Mama Cass birthday, September 19 birthdays, Twiggy birthday, Virgo, Wheatus 4 CommentsHappy birthday to me. Kooky single mother clown comedy writer. Please give generously or small children may go without food, and my poor, long-suffering teenager may grow up deprived of designer clothes and shoes. Apparently I’m supposed to starve to pay for everything.
loupollard 