These boots aren’t made for walking

I went out dancing with a bunch of wild gay men. It was a night of jazz hands, time steps, kick ball change, Solid Gold poses and lots of throwing each other in the air (almost). I got home at five in the morning with a…throbbing pain in my knee. Maybe I’m too old to dance all night in high heels. But I thought, ‘I’ll get acupuncture, that’ll fix it.’

I love my acupuncturist. He has seen me through many traumas. He can tell when my monkey mind needs to be quiet. I turn up stressed and carrying on, lie down on the table and he sticks a needle right into the cranky part of my forehead. Some people call it the third eye. Acupuncture is great for emotional dramas too. Ladies, the best way to get over a needle-phobic man is to have acupuncture. So I’ve started going every week. But at my last appointment Mr Acupuncture looked at my Mexican cowboy boots and shook his head. He said my boots are hurting my feet and my spine. So apparently my boots aren’t made for walking…