This week the NRL, AFL, rugby and soccer boys are wearing a new strip on the field. It’s magenta polka dots, lightning bolts and zebra stripes, with olive and puce armbands, which stands for raising awareness week and making sure caring and giving back is in the headlines with a few high profile footy boofheads adorned in the right colours.
In a profound press release, Lina Tell-All White a publicist with a certificate in marketing and an educational background that includes being expelled from most upmarket Sydney schools revealed,
“We’re raising awareness of raising awareness. There may be a fun run. We had seven different marketing committees choosing the palette and pairing it with matching wines and food served in gumboots at an overpriced invitation-only dinner at an exclusive inner city hotel. What it means is that we stand for making instant Instagram stars of the people wearing the well-chosen outfits and hoping their media profiles will raise awareness of a thoughtful charity drive that will make money so we can show that we’re thinking of lots of issues on right-wing radio, commercial television and all the socials. It’s really important for politicians, influencers and even ordinary punters to know what we stand for. Even if we don’t.”
“We are also running another timely campaign, we desperately need funding to buy more açai smoothie bowls for girls who went to overpriced schools who now can’t afford to buy homes within 20 kilometres of the expensive suburb they grew up in. It’s a national tragedy and we need to fix it,” said another spokeswoman from a massive yacht on Sydney Harbour. “They may not be homeless but their needs are great. Raising Awareness, reality TV ‘stars’ wearing exorbitantly priced clothing and building fame, that’s really all we want from a charity appeal, Australia just doesn’t have enough of it. Our thoughts and prayers are with all the celebrities with less than 100K followers on Instagram.”
At 8.30pm tonight I’m performing my new show A Real State at The Factory Theatre in Marrickville, for three nights only. I’m hunting for a lovely new home and an audience to match. As a professional fool I wish I had a good job to pay for a mortgage, just like the well-known real estate guru Joe Hockey. I’m currently squashed into a scenic apartment with my three children overlooking the rent.
Fresh from my four-star reviewed Sydney Comedy Festival show Looking For Mike Brady, I’m performing in a tastefully renovated new show about home hunting away from the airport flight path in Sydney’s unreal estate market. This superbly crafted story is a moving show, in a call-the-removalists-the-lease-is-up-again kind of way.
Sophisticated solo parent seeks attractive audience positioned to ensure the perfect lifestyle experience. Bring yourself and any urban hipster double income professionals to this perfectly priced fun show about one woman’s quest to find a stunning family home. You’ll laugh your guts up as I enlist the audience in my hunt for a house, and maybe a husband too.
In the lead up to my Sydney Comedy Festival show ‘Looking For Mike Brady’, I’ve been thinking about my comedy because people see me doing stand up and say, “oh I love that trashy single mother character,” and I think I’m just being me, the me I see myself as. So I don’t think I’m playing a character (she and I are very close) but some audience members who don’t know me think I’m exaggerating my behaviour. Now I get why comedy people are private, often reclusive so they can pour all their energy into their work. When I lived in London I used to walk past Benny Hill’s place and when I looked in his front windows he was always sitting very quietly by the fire, looking a little sad. To give out that much mayhem and happy I think you need to have quiet time to balance the fun and madness coming out of your head. Life is funny but not every day