Power up ladies. This is a life-changing opportunity that few will have the mastery to grasp. Tony Robbins, yes, the over-charging self-appointed self-help guru urgently requires an authentic life coach slash disruptor to transform his mind. Preferably a strong female who can resist bullies. The successful applicant will have years of work ahead of her, bashing through the scripted bullshit.
Here’s an incredibly detailed summary of the top coaching modules Tony really needs. Any takers?
Lesson 1: Deep listening, and more listening and hopefully his new coach will throw in some listening skills as a bonus
Lesson 2: Finding friends who aren’t jerks
Lesson 3: Mansplaining 101
Lesson 4: How not to physically intimidate women
Lesson 5: Male entitlement
Lesson 6: Practising what you preach
Lesson 7: Why obsessing over your appearance gets in the way of your sincerity
Hopefully, Tony is a keen learner and will realise this is his date with destiny, that he can create massive humility in his life. Tony’s success coach may be able to help Tony condition his mind in how not to be a complete knob. My thoughts and prayers are with Tony as he embarks on his quest for self-improvement; if all goes well, his new lifestyle guru will keep him busy for a long time.
Can’t find your trackie dacks? Lost the remote? You’ve spent all day sitting in a milk bar and no famous Hollywood agents have discovered you?
I usually have a million things going on in my head, and creatively I’m the sort of person who has 47 projects on the go at any given moment. If I’d lived 100 years ago I would have needed a butler and a maid just to get me to the breakfast table.
I’m a single parent of three kids (driver, maid, washerwoman, servant) professional fool, speaker, writer and stilt walker and I wanted to finish writing my book, go overseas and get back to performing stand up comedy this year. I do not have a sherpa or a chauffeur (yet), so I went to see a life coach. A good one. One who helped me get my shit together (yes, it’s very technical this stuff). We set goals and worked out how I could possibly achieve them in the spare five minutes I have each day. And I now have a mentor for my book, I’m booked to speak at engagements this year and I’ve just been overseas.
So as Molly Meldrum would say, do yourself a favour. If you live in Sydney you can give her a call. If you don’t live in Sydney she’s on Skype. It makes sense to get someone who is very organised help you arrange the mad thoughts in your head (just me?). Especially if you’re a creative type. This is not an ad, it’s a recommendation.