The blind leading the blind

Position vacant:

Power up ladies. This is a life-changing opportunity that few will have the mastery to grasp. Tony Robbins, yes, the over-charging self-appointed self-help guru urgently requires an authentic life coach slash disruptor to transform his mind. Preferably a strong female who can resist bullies. The successful applicant will have years of work ahead of her, bashing through the scripted bullshit.

Here’s an incredibly detailed summary of the top coaching modules Tony really needs. Any takers?

Lesson 1: Deep listening, and more listening and hopefully his new coach will throw in some listening skills as a bonus

Lesson 2: Finding friends who aren’t jerks

Lesson 3: Mansplaining 101

Lesson 4: How not to physically intimidate women

Lesson 5: Male entitlement

Lesson 6: Practising what you preach

Lesson 7: Why obsessing over your appearance gets in the way of your sincerity

Hopefully, Tony is a keen learner and will realise this is his date with destiny, that he can create massive humility in his life. Tony’s success coach may be able to help Tony condition his mind in how not to be a complete knob. My thoughts and prayers are with Tony as he embarks on his quest for self-improvement; if all goes well, his new lifestyle guru will keep him busy for a long time.

Finding it hard to get off the couch?

Can’t find your trackie dacks? Lost the remote? You’ve spent all day sitting in a milk bar and no famous Hollywood agents have discovered you?

I usually have a million things going on in my head, and creatively I’m the sort of person who has 47 projects on the go at any given moment. If I’d lived 100 years ago I would have needed a butler and a maid just to get me to the breakfast table.

I’m a single mother of three kids (driver, maid, washerwoman, servant) professional fool, speaker, writer and stilt walker and I wanted to finish writing my book, go overseas and get back to performing stand up comedy this year. I do not have a sherpa or a chauffeur (yet), so I went to see a life coach. A good one. One who helped me get my shit together (yes, it’s very technical this stuff). We set goals and worked out how I could possibly achieve them in the spare five minutes I have each day. And I now have a mentor for my book, I’m booked to speak at engagements this year and I’ve just been overseas.

So as Molly Meldrum would say, do yourself a favour. If you live in Sydney you can give her a call. If you don’t live in Sydney she’s on Skype. It makes sense to get someone who is very organised help you arrange the mad thoughts in your head (just me?). Especially if you’re a creative type. This is not an ad, it’s a recommendation.

Classroom for Success: 5 Good Things about Stuff Going Wrong

Classroom for Success: 5 Good Things about Stuff Going Wrong.