Here’s my sweet, romantic poem in honour of Valentines Day:
Roses are red, violets are blue
I didn’t get a thing today so f#*^! you
Were the flower delivery trucks parked at your door when you awoke? Did you hire someone to manage the line of men? I bet I received a better present than you today. I received self raising flour, drinking chocolate, a crumpled UNO card and bubbles (in the bath when my daughter farted)
What else did I get for Valentines Day?
Emotional turmoil – check
Feeling forlorn – check
Eviction notice – check
Sad, lonely and blue – check
When I was coupled up I didn’t get Valentine’s presents. I got the kids and he kept the used woman from the second hand stall at the markets.
Are you spoken for? Spoken about? Taken or taken for granted?
Today I feel sorry for my postman, he’ll be off on compo for months after breaking his back delivering 1000s of cards, flowers, chocolates, garden gnomes, truffles, pet pigs and poison pen letters to my front door. I’ll give him a big hug and all my love when he gets out of hospital. I’m sure my 157 Facebook boyfriends have sent me their bank account details as well. As I reflect on the sorry state of my love life this Valentine’s Day, AKA VD or Singles Appreciation Day (thank you teenage daughter for that bit of wisdom) I’m thinking of the words of my spiritual guru George Michael,
“It’s so hard to love, there’s so much to hate, when there is no hope to speak of….” I don’t know how George Michael knew about my future love life and unsuccessful internet dating attempts when he wrote that song back in the glory days of the 1980s, but I feel there’s something in those profound words for all of us.