China’s singletons celebrate Singles Day (or ‘bare sticks’) as an alternative to Valentine’s Day on November 11 — or 11/11, the date representing all the lonely people. Being single on Valentine’s Day is a big problem in China, where there are millions more men than women because of the country’s one-child policy. Sitting on the bus with no one beside me is fun, but I’d love to celebrate being alone with other sad singles, is anyone throwing a blind date party tonight?
Today I feel sorry for my postman, he’ll be off on compo for months after breaking his back delivering 1000s of cards, flowers, chocolates, garden gnomes, truffles, pet pigs and poison pen letters to my front door. I’ll give him a big hug and all my love when he gets out of hospital. I’m sure my 157 Facebook boyfriends have sent me their bank account details as well. As I reflect on the sorry state of my love life this Valentine’s Day, AKA VD or Singles Appreciation Day (thank you teenage daughter for that bit of wisdom) I’m thinking of the words of my spiritual guru George Michael,
“It’s so hard to love, there’s so much to hate, when there is no hope to speak of….” I don’t know how George Michael knew about my future love life and unsuccessful internet dating attempts when he wrote that song back in the glory days of the 1980s, but I feel there’s something in those profound words for all of us.
Every time I log onto Facebook or Hotmail or MyTwitFace or any kind of social networking sites late at night when my children are in bed and I’m feeling all alone (cue sad, lonely blues music) and crying into my cask of wine, I see ads popping up tempting me to log on and find my ideal man. The ads read something like this:
Find good looking single policemen in your area. I could dial 000, it’d be quicker and cheaper. When I got burgled recently I had five big policemen on my doorstep within twenty minutes and I didn’t have to sign up for endless emails.
Single and Christian? Find God’s Perfect Match for You. I found God’s matchmaking skills were way, way out. The guy who was apparently ‘ideal’ for me had a head like a brick and lived in Utah.
Come on a singles cruise. Great, so he can throw up on me at breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Why am I not excited by these ads?