Happy Go Ahead Date A Single Mother DayPosted: February 14, 2015 Filed under: LOVE | Tags: Hope, joy, Katie Melua - Closest Thing To Crazy, looking for love, love, presents for single mothers, Sexy single mothers, single mother celebrations, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day for singles Leave a comment
Here’s my sweet, romantic poem in honour of Valentines Day:
Roses are red, violets are blue
I didn’t get a thing today so f#*^! you
Were the flower delivery trucks parked at your door when you awoke? Did you hire someone to manage the line of men? I bet I received a better present than you today. I received self raising flour, drinking chocolate, a crumpled UNO card and bubbles (in the bath when my daughter farted)
What else did I get for Valentines Day?
Emotional turmoil – check
Feeling forlorn – check
Eviction notice – check
Sad, lonely and blue – check
When I was coupled up I didn’t get Valentine’s presents. I got the kids and he kept the used woman from the second hand stall at the markets.
Are you spoken for? Spoken about? Taken or taken for granted?
Santa’s checking his listPosted: December 24, 2014 Filed under: Single Motherhood, Thought For the Day | Tags: Bing Crosby Christmas songs, Christmas cheer, Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby Christmas Special 1957, happy single mothering, Merry Christmas, no Christmas beer, presents for single mothers, sanity clause, Santa Claus is coming to town lyrics, Santa has two lists and I'm on the wrong one, Santa knows and sees all, single mother celebrations, single mother delusions, who is naughty, who is nice 4 Comments
and I’m checking my single mama Christmas list. Mine looks a bit different to Santa’s version:
Last minute, hope this will do presents for my kids – tick
Chocolates bought at service station for relatives – tick
Happy face on when kids buy you same cheap present as last year – tick
Fight with siblings – tick
Feeling abnormal – tick
Dysfunctional family – tick
Underwhelmed by lack of French champagne and luxury goods – tick
Forgot my own present – tick
Can’t drink alcohol because I’m driving all over town – tick
Smile for my mother even though I really hate eating ham – tick
Not feeling very relaxed because I’m holding the fort – tick
Dream bubble above my head of me with a hottie on a Caribbean beach instead of being stuck in a hot house – tick
Sending cards to all the family and friends I forgot about on Boxing Day – tick
What’s on your Christmas wish list?
Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby Christmas Special 1957
I’m your mother, I’m supposed to drive you crazyPosted: May 11, 2014 Filed under: LOVE, Single Motherhood | Tags: glamorous single motherhood, Go on pamper me I'm your mother, happy single mothering, in praise of selfless mothers, let me eat cake, MOTHER'S DAY, Mother's Day 2014, Mother's Day Australia, my girls are my be-all and end-all, my mama worked so hard for me, peace, presents for single mothers, relaxation, single mother bliss, single mother dreaming, sleeping all day, spoilt single mothers, Stevie Wonder - Don't You Worry 'Bout A Thing (Live) 2 Comments
Flowers, chocolates, cards, a new house and a new car, my kids know how to spoil me on Mother’s Day, but apparently today they forgot what I really like so they got me some soap. And candles so that my cheeky youngest child, who is a trainee fire starter, can melt wax all over the house. Joy. And as it is Mother’s Day I am supposed to smile sweetly and be grateful and pretend that it doesn’t bother me, otherwise in a few years they will relocate me to a home for the bewildered that plays Phil Collins songs all day. Sigh. Motherhood is so glamorous and exciting isn’t it? Rest up today mamas, it’s going to be a big year
Sleep in heavenly peacePosted: December 24, 2013 Filed under: SONGS, Thought For the Day | Tags: be merry, Christmas carols, Christmas cheer, Christmas Eve, Christmas Songs, drink, eat, Felice Navidad, gifts, giving, Holy night Batman, Joyeux Noel, presents for single mothers, reindeer, reindeers on the roof, Santa, Santa in his sleigh, Santa stop here, Santa wants to come down the chimney but it's blocked, Silent NIght, Sinead O'Connor, Tis the season to be greedy Leave a comment
Of course Santa is having a happy Christmas, he knows where all the naughty people live and he gets to party with them. I hope when Santa drops down my chimney that he is good looking and he finds out I’ve been naughty and my children have been nice. Merry Christmas, here come the reindeer.