I’m your mother, I’m supposed to drive you crazy

Flowers, chocolates, cards, a new house and a new car, my kids know how to spoil me on Mother’s Day, but apparently today they forgot what I really like so they got me some soap. And candles so that my cheeky youngest child, who is a trainee fire starter, can melt wax all over the house. Joy. And as it is Mother’s Day I am supposed to smile sweetly and be grateful and pretend that it doesn’t bother me, otherwise in a few years they will relocate me to a home for the bewildered that plays Phil Collins songs all day. Sigh. Motherhood is so glamorous and exciting isn’t it? Rest up today mamas, it’s going to be a big year


Yes Mum, everything’s fine

Happy, Happy Mother’s Day. Today is the day we say thank you to the woman who created us in her belly. Mothers love us more than anyone can and at the same time drive us completely mental. Even though I was the world’s most revolting teenager my mother would run in front of a train to save me. I’d do the same for my daughters, even though they think I’m bonkers and I make them crazy some days. I love you Mama. Thank you for having me and loving me. And for making your pavlova, no one has ever whipped up a pav better than you Barbara Pollard.