Love in the time of blended families
Posted: January 14, 2018 Filed under: D.I.V.O.R.C.E, LOVE, MARRIAGE, Politics, Single Motherhood | Tags: horse and carriage, love, Marriage, parenting advice, parenting poems, single mother advice, Single motherhood, step mother, step parenting, wicked step mothers, William Shakespeare quotes, William Shakespeare sonnet 116 1 CommentA poem
We say I love you, and if we’re still together on Boxing Day, Easter Wednesday, the day after the kid goes back to school we may survive as a couple by detaching from your teen’s nightmare behaviour
Your son looks like Elvis but he sings like a drunk footballer
I adore you but your brother’s second wife’s extended family will poison me slowly with their frozen coleslaw
I’d really like to grow old with you but your son’s new girlfriend has a voice that curdles milk and I can’t bring myself to help you raise her kids
Your touch is tough to resist but the complaints from your mother and her coven of neighbours about my cooking have reduced my brain capacity
You soothe my jangled nerves but your child’s penchant for snakes is a reptile too far
I really like your daughter but another netball match will kill my will to live
I love you but I can’t add another mother in law to my collection
Shakespeare described step parenting best:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom
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This shame derives itself from unknown loins
Posted: October 8, 2017 Filed under: Parenting, Self improvement | Tags: devotion, love, parenting advice, parenting solo, Pollard parenting method, raising kids solo, really helpful parenting advice, Shakespeare on parenting, single mother handy hints, single mother life hacks, single mothering, Smotherhood, to Pollard, William Shakespeare quotes 1 CommentSelfless community service alert! My Pollard Parenting Method (patent pending) is now available to my adoring public. Why buy a how to raise rugrats book when Pollarding can help you with awkward mothering moments?
Public Transport + small untamed child = major public embarrassment for mother. If you are sitting on the bus with your child and he starts singing,
When you’re climbing up a ladder and you hear something splatter,
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea
When you’re rushing to the potty and you hear something grotty
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea
Say out loud at regular intervals,
“I wish his mother would come and get him.”
Or simply move to another seat on the bus and pretend the offending child does not belong to you. He may well pull down his pants, tug at his penis, and sing another filthy ditty you taught him, but eventually a kind old lady will give him lollies to shut him up. She will glare at you when she gets off the bus. Pretend not to notice.
Writing this for a friend obviously. My children are perfect.
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God has given you one face & you make yourself another
Posted: September 3, 2017 Filed under: LOVE | Tags: bible bashers, bible quotes, bigots in the belfry, boys wearing frocks, civil rights, godbotherers, human rights, love, love is love, marriage equality, vote yes, William Shakespeare quotes Leave a commentRecently my eldest found a fetching gown for her boyfriend to wear to a party. I think every boy needs to wear a princess dress at least once in his life, but it seems the religious nutters don’t agree. In a recent ad, allegedly opposing marriage equality and supporting the no vote, a woman proclaiming to be a Christian whinged about boys being asked to wear dresses. The Pope wears a frock. Scottish men wear kilts, Jesus ran around in a tunic and plenty of men in the middle east look like they’re wearing shift dresses, but apparently men frocking up opens the gateway to hell.
What disturbs me most about the Australian Christian Lobby’s ‘Vote No’ ads, apart from the fact that the No campaign ads claim that schools will force males to wear skirts, is that these so-called Christians think that it is morally right to spend upwards of $20 million on a hate campaign. $20 MILLION DOLLARS that could be spent helping SO many people who are homeless, are victims of domestic violence or need help for mental issues.
I come from a long line of godbothers, I endured years of being dragged to Sunday school by my religious grandparents. My grandfather knew the Bible so well he would lecture Jehovah’s Witnesses at his front door for so long that they’d run away. So I remember key Bible verses. Jesus said,
“Whoever has two coats must share with anyone who has none, and whoever has food must do likewise. Do not extort money from anyone by threats or false accusation, and be satisfied with your wages.” Luke 3:10-14
Jesus also said,
“Three things will last forever–faith, hope, and love–and the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:13
Jesus didn’t say Thou shalt cherry pick the bible to find verses that suit an agenda of hate and division, and cause your fellow man to suffer bullying because their values are different from yours
Love wins
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You put a spell on me
Posted: February 14, 2016 Filed under: LOVE | Tags: allergy to happy couples, happy coupleland, immortal beloved, Living Colour - Love Rears Its Ugly Head, love, love attacks your brain, love makes the world go round, my mind is gone, single mother joys, single mother struggles, Valentine's Day, William Shakespeare quotes Leave a commentHappy Valentine’s Day to all the single mothers and fathers, hope you get lucky today with chocolate kisses and your children wake up smelling like roses. Remember it’s better to be single than fall for a dating scam online. As that well-known expert on internet dating Shakespeare said,
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom
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Sail Away With Me To Another World
Posted: March 5, 2014 Filed under: LOVE, SONGS | Tags: beautiful friends make life worth living, female role models for growing girls, friendship, glamorous single motherhood, Karaoke Lovers Anonymous, karaoke partner in vocal crimes, KENNY ROGERS & DOLLY PARTON - ISLANDS IN THE STREAM, love only, single mother allies, single mothers with attitude, Sonnet 30, the only ones for me are the mad ones, William Shakespeare, William Shakespeare quotes Leave a commentI woke up this morning thinking of my gorgeous, generous friend and the times she and I would sing karaoke. We’d work our way through rock ballads, fabulous country songs, Patsy, Tammy, then Whitney and of course Dolly Parton. My funny friend also introduced me to the delights of Smooth FM and their back catalogue of hideous one hit wonders. A couple of years ago we gatecrashed an 18th birthday party at a pub and then it turned out C knew the family! She was there for me when I became a single mother and I didn’t know how I would cope. She showed me that single motherhood can be fun. Her funeral is today and I don’t think it’s right that two little girls don’t have their fabulous, funny mum any more. At 42 years old my beautiful friend had so much more to give, more books to write, many more songs to sing. Fly free my darling, your spirit soaring with the sun and the twinkling stars, thank you for your friendship. We will walk with your girls through this life. Love you, love always, always love
When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time’s waste:
Then can I drown an eye, unus’d to flow,
For precious friends hid in death’s dateless night,
And weep afresh love’s long since cancell’d woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanish’d sight:
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o’er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restor’d and sorrows end.
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The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief
Posted: August 31, 2013 Filed under: Self improvement | Tags: Carole Bayer Sager - You're Moving Out Today (1977), freedom, Hope, moving on from people with NPD, my life and I can do what I like with it, Othello Act I Scene III, overcoming DV, resilience, single ladies, singledom, survival, William Shakespeare quotes Leave a commentToday I’m celebrating four years of freedom.
Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance - Oscar Wilde
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