Arr, arr, arr, ahoy me hearties

Today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. I grew up in Crows Nest and it’s my birthday today so I was born to be a bucaneer. Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum, hoist the mizzen

I am a teenage dirtbag, aren’t I?

Happy birthday to me. Kooky single mother clown comedy writer. Please give generously or small children may go without food, and my poor, long-suffering teenager may grow up deprived of designer clothes and shoes. Apparently I’m supposed to starve to pay for everything.