The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief

Today I’m celebrating four years of freedom.

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance 
- Oscar Wilde

Trashy fash

Gucci sunglasses from Vinnies? Check.
Pyjamas from K-Mart? Check.
Havaianas Thongs? Check.
Single mother biorhythm energy level: Chewed up and spat out.

Trashy single mother reporting for duty at the school gate. I’d love to look fancy like all the yummy mummies at my school with their beautiful hair but I really don’t give a rats. Blame my 80s childhood, then my 90s grungey youth. Where I grew up every mother wore beige and navy Country Road separates, so as a result I’m allergic to fashion marketing. I think if women spent less time looking at handbags we’d have more time to change the world. The older I get the more I know that anti wrinkle cream is a useless weapon in our fight for equality. Maybe my look is called old bag trashion. I’m doing motherhood my way. Thank you Frank Sinatra.

Never work with children, they’re animals

On September 14 I’m performing two shows with my youngest daughter, who is hyperactive, smart and very cheeky. The rehearsal process has been ‘interesting,’ with Wednesday adding in bits of script that don’t make sense or are hilarious to her but not to me. I’m thinking our show will be a shambles or very funny (or both). Our show is called Parental Guidance and we’re on at Tap Gallery (upstairs theatre) in Darlinghurst. You can buy tickets at

And an interview I did for the Sydney Fringe Festival blog

Funny Show

Wednesday and I


One of my friends said,
“You have a morbid fascination with death. You have so many stories of death and people close to you dying.” Actually he said, “You are the angel of death,” but I don’t fear death and I don’t think it’s morbid. I work in hospitals with kids who may die and observing parents coping with their worst fear strengthens my gratitude for my three healthy kids. Life and death walk hand in hand, two sides of the same coin, my fascination with death is a part of living well. And I know I will be old and ready for it when my time comes. I’ve got too much to do in this life to die young.

I love cemeteries, I could walk in them for hours looking at the headstones and wondering how people lived. I’m lucky I live right near one of the most beautiful cemeteries in Sydney. I love old graves. Walking around reading the inscriptions I’m reminded as a mother that only a hundred years ago mothers lived with the ever present thought that they should have lots of children as many little kids under five didn’t survive.

My dad’s been dead for 11 years and I’m certain he’s around me all the time.

beautiful cemetery

beautiful cemetery

How to talk to your daughter about her body

Love this post by Sarah Koppelkam

He hasn’t really left the building

The King died today in 1977. I loved his look, his white jumpsuits, his hair, his sneer, his pelvis, his fetish for deep-fried peanut butter sandwiches and his music. He may well have been my ideal man. His golden voice lives on forever in the drama of his high camp songs. I love you Elvis.

I think people make their own faces as they grow

I’m feeling like a cross between Noddy and Big Ears, which is appropriate because Enid Blyton shares a birthday with Hulk Hogan today. I must be jolly old-fashioned.
A clown needn’t be the same out of the ring as he has to be when he’s in it. If you look at photographs of clowns when they’re just being ordinary men, they’ve got quite sad faces.” Enid Blyton, Five Go Off in a Caravan

Athe-letes Anonymous

In my old age I have truly become an elite athe-lete. I’m sure some people can’t help feeling a tad jealous of my superior fitness and style, so I’m happy to share a tip from my exercise system. As part of my intensive City to Surf training program, I went to a birthday party last night and bulked up on carbs. Champagne, pizza, Twisties, icecream and chocolate may have been consumed but I will burn them off tomorrow as I’m walking (more like strutting) in my best going out tracksuit for 14 (count them) tiny kilometres. When exercising it is very important to look stylish. I can’t wait to sweat it out at the Back of the Pack with the other lunatics. Last year it took me 3 3/4 hours to walk the course, I’m aiming for a Personal Best this year of over four hours. Bring it on Bondi, I’m coming atcha!

I’m not waiting for my 15 minutes

Today is the birth day of Andy Warhol. The man who once said, “In the future, everybody will be world famous for fifteen minutes.” In memory of this great art charlatan, I’ve decided I’m not going to wait for my 15 minutes of fame. I’m going to go out and get it. So far I’ve been on TV starring in two episodes of Sale Of The Century (around 40 minutes TV time), one episode of Hot Seat (about 10 minutes TV time), a tiny part in All Saints (2 minutes TV time), two episodes of Mums The Word, I was murdered on Murder Call (10 minutes) and I’ve done ads. My dad also put me on the cover of his dog book when I was nine (I’m not sure how many copies were printed so it’s hard to calculate my fame minutes in print). By my reckoning, my fame clock is up around the 85 minute mark. I think I’ll be getting my own TV show next.

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia

I could not imagine my childhood without the Brady Bunch. The orange and green kitchen, the sunken living room, the hair, the clothes, Alice and the dorkiness of the Brady boys, there was so much to love about that TV show. As the youngest child in my family, I was Cindy; the difficult middle child Jan was too annoying, but I wanted to be Marcia. I loved her hair, her geeky boyfriends and her mini skirts. Thank you Maureen McCormick (10 years older than me) for breathing life into Marcia and giving me a teen girly idol when I was 7. Maureen was also the voice of the Chatty Cathy doll in 1970, but I am far too young to remember that.