Straya Day

Today is our day Oz Traya, there is so much to celebrate; it’s our Invasion Day, Ripper Bewdy Day, Celebrate our Unity Day, Chuck a Few Tinnies Down and Get on The Back of a Kangaroo Day, Call For Reconciliation Day, Our Home Is Girt By Sea Day, When Do We Get a Treaty Day, Colonial Day, Get Smashed Day, White Australia has a Black History Day, Another Public Holiday Day, White Slavery Day, Be Grateful For Where We Live Day, Our Island Home Day, Celebrate MultiCulturalism Day, Massacre of the Oldest Living Culture Day


Hello Dolly

This woman must be inducted into the Fashion Hall of Fame. Happy birthday Dolly, you are fabulous. When I grow up I’m going to be you Dolly Parton


In the firkst month of Christmas holidays

My children gave to me:
Seven additive-riddled candy canes
Six recycled Christmas gifts
Five onion rings
Four nudie runs
Three pairs of socks
Two manky collages

But no back dated maintenance payments from their father


In the firkst week of the New Year

My true love gave to me:
A case of cheap wine that poisoned me
Repeat prescriptions for a nasty little virus
And a text message saying, ‘it’s not you, it’s me…’

May 2015 bless you with money, love and chocolate kisses