Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp still haven’t called me for my birthday, they must be sleeping
Today is my birthday, so while I’m waiting for my cards, chocolate, flowers and new car from Johnny Depp and the Queen, I will tell you about other famous people who share my day.
TODAY’S STARS are MAMA CASS, TWIGGY and GEORGE CADBURY
This morning I ate a kilo of chocolate in honour of Mama Cass and George Cadbury. But I gave up ham, because it killed poor Mama. Apparently this is an urban myth, but I wish Mama Cass had shared her chocolate with Twiggy.
Today also happens to be International Talk Like A Pirate day. Which fills my heart with gladness. What do you get when you cross a pirate with a robot?
Aye I’ll be thar looking for a pirate for meself, just been keelhauled and be plunderin. I forgot to cast me message in bottle back…arrrrrrrr
In my 20s I was a sucker for every ology being spruiked on a street corner by a charlatan. It was the 90s after all. I veered between the ‘I don’t give a rats’ slacker culture and the personal growth ‘I want to find myself, that’s enough about me, what do you think of me?’ ethos. There’s a sucker born every minute and at 4am on the 19th of September that sucker was me.
I tried rebirthing, chakra realignment, reading tea leaves, chanting, and I even looked into the bollocks that is numerology. I took a personality course at the ‘church’ of Scientology. I discovered I only had a personality when I drank like an Australian cricketer on tour. I spent thousands on courses and tapes and CD’s and behavioural analysis bullshit instead of investing in cheap Sydney property. Then when I was 29 I embarked on a breeding program. I had big whopper babies, all overdue, so I read lots of intellectual tomes in my fourth trimester, like Get A Life, No Idea and Women’s Monthly magazines. One day I read an article about birthdays and their meaning so I decided to harness the power of celebrity to give my life some direction (five pregnancies will do that to your brain).
I discovered I share a birthday with Twiggy and Mama Cass (I’m somewhere in between them size wise), but my spiritual guru also shares my birthday. George Cadbury. He was a chocolate maker and philanthropist. The charity I work for is sponsored by you guessed it…Cadbury. It’s a sign. So as Oprah would say I’ve found my destiny. I was put on this earth to consume chocolate, preferably the expensive stuff.
Who do you share your birthday with? Maybe they can give your life the direction it needs. Which personality traits do you share with a celebrity?