Step on a crack, break your mother’s back

As it is Friday the 13th, please children don’t let your single mothers
Catch a bus
Feed a black pussy cat
Climb a tree
Open the fridge
Break a mirror
Cook dinner
Spill salt
Make a bed
Log out of Tinder
Wash clothes
Leave the couch
Walk under a ladder
Or stop dancing

Because it is very, very unlucky

#childrenmusthelptheirmothers


Gurls germs

I’m a single mother of girly girls so I’m fluent in lipstick, Bratz dolls and emotional meltdowns. I don’t speak a word of Transformers, Thomas the tank engine or Minecraft, my gals are not interested. Girl children like to talk a lot, every thought has to be workshopped, discussed and dissected. It’s emotionally exhausting but I don’t think I could have been a mother to boy children. Too many trains and trucks and cars and not enough cross dressing and emotional awareness. I love my gurl kids even though they wear me out. My job makes me grateful to have well children whether they are pink or blue or rainbow, but I do believe that if more girls were in positions of power we would have less conflict in the world, less war, less militaristic decision making. So boys, you’ve had your turn, there’s a few of us gals who are tired of the world turning into an angry hate-filled space; one day our girls are going to take over and change the dominant paradigm forever.


Gurl power

Today is the UN International Day of the Girl child to recognise girls’ rights and the unique challenges girls face around the world. This year’s theme is Empowering Adolescent Girls: Ending the Cycle of Violence. Girls are persecuted, oppressed, stifled and silenced, and in many places girls aren’t allowed to have opinions or a voice. Over 66 million girls around the world are denied an education, simply because they were born a girl. Nobel Prize winner Malala Yousafzai has been brave enough to stand up to extremists and speak about the fight for girls to have an education.

Consider these facts;
1 in 7 girls is married before the age of 15
Every 60 seconds a girl dies giving birth
Girls are persecuted more than any other political or religious group
Around 90% of child workers are girls aged 12-17
Girls are three times more likely to suffer from malnutrition than boys
One in every four girls are sexually abused by the age of 18

Of all the illiterate people in the world today, two-thirds are female and over 90 percent live in developing countries. Educating girls and women is widely acknowledged as the most powerful and effective way to address global poverty. Women who finish secondary school earn more money, have smaller, healthier families, and are more likely to educate their own children, breaking the cycle of illiteracy in one generation.

It doesn’t have to be like this. We can make a difference by donating money to charities like roomtoread.org


Bewdy school dropout

I used this tube of cream and suddenly my youth was activated. I put it on my face and started hunting guys with bad 80s hair, I was dancing to New Order in a fluoro tube skirt and laughing my guts up with my girlfriends late at night on street corners. Amazing result until I looked in the mirror and realised that my skin resembled an ageing goanna. Thanks Lancôme for taking me back to my younger daze, your product activated my already over-active imagination.

20140907-153041.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pbv50eBhO2Q


Double duty

Today is Father’s Day and I’m missing my long dead dad. Reading happy family messages on social media on a day like today is tough, especially when you’re doing double duty. I’m loving my strong male mates who are showing up and working hard and being great dads by making their children their main priority. I’m not loving the dads who show off their kids at public social functions but aren’t there for the hard graft of parenting. A part of me wishes that men in Western society would take the men who decide to be deadbeat and Disneyland dads to task. Tiger Woods can treat his wife and kids like shit but still be awarded player of the year awards. In our society it’s even easy to get away with not paying for your kids. I don’t know if it’s the role of government to chase up sperm donors who are not declaring income and crying poor then taking their new families out for dinner and getting on with a newly invented life as though the children they had first are a part of their past that they don’t need to revisit. The Child Support Agency doesn’t seem to be highly effective. I’m not advocating a return to the strict moral code of the 1950s but a few conversations along the lines of ‘mate lift your game’ and ‘real men pay child support,’ I think would help us ladies struggling with bearing the full load of child rearing. Yes we chose to have our kids, but in most cases, no we didn’t deliberately choose boys masquerading as men who have relinquished their responsibilities to their children. Real men man up.


Thank you Dr Montessori

Educational genius Maria Montessori was born on this day in 1870. A woman far ahead of her time, she went to medical school then began her quest to educate young minds. A single mother whose father was sceptical about her work, Montessori believed that, “The child is both a hope and a promise for mankind.” In a year when too many children have died in bloody wars started by male warmongers, her words have never felt more true: “Peace is a practical principle of human civilisation and social organisation that is based on the very nature of man. Peace does not enslave him; rather, it exalts him…. And because it is based on man’s nature, it a constant, a universal principle that applies to all human beings. This principle must be our guide in building a science of peace and educating men for peace.”


Does my sassiness upset you?

Dear Maya Angelou, the world is a poorer place without you. Thank you for the love, wisdom and joy your writing brought us. Your words gave me hope in the darkest days of my life. Your strength and dignity in the face of life’s challenges are an inspiration.


Girl Power

On International Women’s Day I’m thinking that I’d love to be Emmeline Pankhurst in pearls fighting for equality for all women but I’m a little bit busy hanging out the washing and bringing home the bacon to feed three hungry mouths. So I’d like to say thank you to the ladies who are childless for maintaining the revolution so this mother of three daughters can raise them knowing that the sisterhood is striving to make our world fair. Whether you chose not to be a breeder, or you had the choice taken from you by fate or circumstance, I’m grateful for the work you’re doing. I believe childless women are desperately needed to fight for equality by us sleep deprived mothers who’ve temporarily lost our brain power because we’re helping finish homework. Thank you for organising the petitions, running the rallies, writing the articles, alerting me to them on Twitter and for keeping watch while this mother bakes. Sisters I will join you at the barricades as soon as I can find a cheap babysitter.

“Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they’re rather stupid…”


Single mother expense rorts

Bloody Santa forgot to bring me an unlimited expense account, a platinum credit card and a billionaire husband, so as a single mother in 2014 I’m right into cash for comments. An empty wallet fills the face with wrinkles after all. Single mother ailments include: regret, despair and irrational thoughts; hang on that’s just motherhood, single or not.

Raising children can be a financial disaster so single mothers need a steady source of income that doesn’t involve prostitution or selling said children on eBay. Large bills and small children are a stressful mix so we can pretend that everything will be fine or delve into the murky world of political expense rorts. I propose a single mother ‘cash for comments’ scheme, where every time a politician states the bleeding obvious on television he is fined and the money put towards raising the children of our nation who have been abandoned by fathers who won’t pay child support. I’m sure Tony Abbott will love it.

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them” — Phyllis Diller


Because I am a girl

In a world where Destroy The Joint often triumphs over misogynist Twitter trolls, it’s easy to think that we girls are winning since we decided to put our knitting down and come out of the typing pool to run the world fairly, but we are a long way from the ideal of equal rights for all.

Today is the UN International Day of the Girl child to recognize girls’ rights and the unique challenges girls face around the world. For its second observance, this year’s Day will focus on “Innovating for Girls’ Education”.

Consider these facts;
1 in 7 girls is married before the age of 15
Every 60 seconds a girl dies giving birth
Girls are persecuted more than any other political or religious group
Around 90% of child workers are girls aged 12-17
Girls are three times more likely to suffer from malnutrition than boys
One in every four girls are sexually abused by the age of 18

And these from the UN website:
The fulfilment of girls’ right to education is first and foremost an obligation and moral imperative. There is also overwhelming evidence that girls’ education, especially at the secondary level, is a powerful transformative force for societies and girls themselves: it is the one consistent positive determinant of practically every desired development outcome, from reductions in mortality and fertility, to poverty reduction and equitable growth, to social norm change and democratization.

While there has been significant progress in improving girls’ access to education over the last two decades, many girls, particularly the most marginalized, continue to be deprived of this basic right. Girls in many countries are still unable to attend school and complete their education due to safety-related, financial, institutional and cultural barriers. Even when girls are in school, perceived low returns from poor quality of education, low aspirations, or household chores and other responsibilities keep them from attending school or from achieving adequate learning outcomes. The transformative potential for girls and societies promised through girls’ education is yet to be realized.

Recognizing the need for fresh and creative perspectives to propel girls’ education forward, the 2017 International Day of the Girl Child recognises the power of the adolescent girl, and most of all, the engagement of young people themselves.

“There is no tool for development more effective than the education of girls,” said Kofi Annan, the former UN Secretary General. I donate to Plan Australia, their Girls Fund is doing great work in the world.

I may be just a girl but I hope we educated gals in the west can go to bed knowing that we gave our sisters in other parts of the world an equal chance. As my 20 year old daughter said four years ago,
“What if the cure for cancer is trapped in the brain of a girl like Malala and it can’t get out because she’s not allowed to get an education?”