Delusions

Deluded Parenting Syndrome also known as DPS, can strike males and females. DPS occurs when a parent believes they’ve done more parenting than they actually have.

DPS symptoms include:

Remote parenting via text message

Chatting up your teenage daughter’s friends

Borrowing your children’s clothes to wear

Bringing home every boyfriend or girlfriend for your kids to meet

Turning up for school events your child is involved in and staying for 5 minutes

Telling your child you’ll teach them how to play guitar, fly a kite or build a cubby but never actually getting around to it

Telling your child all about your sexual partners thinking you’re teaching them sex education. Eww.

DPS – keeping therapists in business since Jung was a boy

Pulp – A Little Soul


Happy Mother’s Day – A prayer for all the mothers

According to Freud it’s the role of the mother to mess with the child’s psyche and I’ve been doing my share. So today I have a prayer that mothers can keep our sanity and sense of humour while parenting.

Today I got homemade craft for Mother’s Day and cards that read I love yu, you’re the bestest moummy in the hole world. Mother’s Day is well timed. Usually by May most mothers I know have had enough of child rearing thus Mother’s Day is planned so we don’t give up mothering and take the little blighters back to the pet shop.

May your day be filled with kisses.

May you go to the toilet in peace

May your day be a tantrum-free zone

And may Santa, The Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy take away the whinge-gene your children inherited from their father.

A PRAYER FOR SINGLE MOTHERS

May the dead beat dad finally give you some cash.

May your ex’s white trash girlfriend treat your kids well.

And may the Child Support Agency catch up with those who are avoiding their maintenance payments.

AMEN