Nothing good gets away

When I was 11 my Dad told me I had to read the classic authors, these included Ernest Hemingway and John Steinbeck. My Dad, Jack Pollard, was a writer and journalist and his favourite Steinbeck book was the Grapes of Wrath. I preferred Of Mice and Men, warming to Lenny and George at a young age. As my Dad died 10 years ago today I’m posting this beautiful letter written to Steinbeck’s son as a tribute to my Dad. Love you Papa Jack. I miss you every day.

 

New York

November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa


Classroom for Success: 5 Good Things about Stuff Going Wrong

Classroom for Success: 5 Good Things about Stuff Going Wrong.


My Big Baby

My biggest baby turns 15 today. Now we are the same age. Well, the same mental age. Those of you who know me well will say she is more mature than me. And the shrink I go to said that there’s a touch of  Edina and Saffy about our relationship. My big baby changed my life, I love her more than words. I would run in front of a speeding train for her. I can’t live without her. I used to sing her this song when she was little (minus the making love reference of course).

Happy Birthday Luscious girl. Thank God you are my daughter. I won the mothering lottery when I had you.


I hope you’re dancing

Robin Gibb died today. The boogie of the Bee Gees was a big part of my childhood. I loved their tight, white pants, their blow dried hair and their harmonies. So many musicians who were a shining part of my youth have died in the last few weeks and I want to say thank you for the music that kept me dancing and kept me sane. Thank you Robin Gibb for your beautiful voice, it will live on.

 

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm.
I’ve been kicked around since I was born.
And now it’s all right, it’s OK.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
The New York Times’ effect on man.

Whether you’re a brother
Or whether you’re a mother,
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.


Hot stuff

The Queen of disco is gone, thanks for the music Donna Summer. Hope you’re rocking it with MCA and Donald ‘Duck’ Dunn.

“I will bring you to my heart…..touching my body, my soul…”

“I do know why I’m alive…..”

love this, even with the God bothering message…..

 

 


Dating and waiting is excruciating

Speed dating, slow dating or chasing your old high school boyfriend on Facebook? I’m too busy to waste time drinking rancid wine in a dodgy restaurant with a man with bad breath, so at the ripe old age of 40 something, my only thought about dating is now, “I don’t chase ’em, I replace ’em.” Single ladies, this is a lovely motto to live by.

 


Yes Mum, everything’s fine

Happy, Happy Mother’s Day. Today is the day we say thank you to the woman who created us in her belly. Mothers love us more than anyone can and at the same time drive us completely mental. Even though I was the world’s most revolting teenager my mother would run in front of a train to save me. I’d do the same for my daughters, even though they think I’m bonkers and I make them crazy some days. I love you Mama. Thank you for having me and loving me. And for making your pavlova, no one has ever whipped up a pav better than you Barbara Pollard.

 


Single Mother’s Day

Just when I think single motherhood is too crazy and I want to take them back to the pet shop to get a refund, I get this card from my 7 year old:

My mummy is so nice unique and pretty

Mummy I love you

Mummy I never want you to go away

You are the best mummy in the world

Love S

I did not pay her to do this. In the stressed out, overworked world of single motherhood we sometimes forget about the joy of mothering and that all the little tedious tasks of being a mother on your own add up to a lifetime of love and care for your children. So I’d like to pay tribute to all the solo mothers I’ve met, you inspire me with your hard work, dedication and devoted love. You are all yummy mummies.


The night Max wore his wolf suit

‘And made mischief of one kind and another. His mother called him WILD THING!” And Max said “I’LL EAT YOU UP!” so he was sent to bed without eating anything.’

The brilliant artist and author Maurice Sendak died today. His books were a part of my childhood and I read them to my children.

Growing up in New York, the son of Polish Jews, he said,

“My childhood was about thinking about the kids over there (in Europe). My burden is living for those who didn’t.”

When director Spike Jonez made the movie version of “Where the Wild Things Are,” Sendak urged the director to remember his view that childhood isn’t all sweetness and light. And he was happy with the result.

“In plain terms, a child is a complicated creature who can drive you crazy” Sendak said in 2009. “There’s a cruelty to childhood, there’s an anger. And I did not want to reduce Max to the trite image of the good little boy that you find in too many books.”

“Kids don’t know about best sellers,” he said. “They go for what they enjoy. They aren’t star chasers and they don’t suck up. It’s why I like them.”

Vale Maurice Sendak, thank you for sharing your gift.

 


Missing Sweet Angels

Missing Sweet Angels is a project targeted at using the power of social media to find six missing children from around the world who have been abducted by strangers. These children’s cases have now gone cold and any hope of finding them rests in the hands of the global population online. For more information go to:

http://missingsweetangels.com/